Guiding Kids & Teens
Yesterday, I had the
pleasure of meeting 4-month old Sophie. In our brief
exchange, we had a conversation of substance that I
rarely experience with grown adults. As she gurgled and
grinned her brilliance my way, I felt satisfied and met
in our interaction. Now, I won't propose to know what
this blue-eyed angel was attempting to communicate;
however, I can say that the purity of our eye contact
and exchange of energy delivered its message clearly.
In college, I spent time working with young children
while pursuing a degree in Psychology & Human
Development and Family Life. I have always been very
comfortable with children. Even as a teen, at family
gatherings you could often find me at the kids' table,
striking up conversation with my younger cousins and
feeding off of the joy they exuded. You see, I have
always understood the brilliance of youth. I have never
understood why we are so encouraged to put a lid on the
light that burns through us. The hushes of relatives
("simmer down now!") always felt stifling to me. In
fact, they still do! Of course, a healthy degree of
self-restraint is a discipline worth sharing.
Nevertheless, how often do we ask ourselves when we
have crossed the line from disciplining to controlling
our children? How can we guide them honorably -
acknowledging their unique self while facilitating its
expression in an unpredictable world?
I believe with
all of my heart that children are here to teach us. Our
job - as parents and as the village that supports - is
to nurture and facilitate each child in his or her
unique talents and passions. A child is a clear mirror
that reflects the light shined upon it. Certainly, a
reflection of his or her environment and experiences.
Yet a child is also an essential piece in a future that
is unknown to all that came before. His or her
brilliance is unprecendented... and each child deserves
to be honored and celebrated for his or her
contribution to the whole. And ironically, it is the
contributions that are the least
understood that will have the most
lasting impact on the greater good of the planet in
years to come. I invite us to judge less, and to look
more closely. (As a very simplified
example: Hyperactivity in children is at an all-time
high. Perhaps we are being encouraged by our children
to find avenues for physical energy that are
constructive... as sitting in desks for long periods of
time is unbearable for a new generation of kids who
dare us to rethink the way we educate. Again, a
simplification of a multi-factored reality;
nevertheless, a popular perspective in many
circles.)
I have found that the most powerful way to approach my
work with children is to honor them as complete.
Children are sometimes surprised by a primary and
guiding principle in SHiNE sessions... that they have
as much to share with me, as I with them. The recipe
for success for connecting with a child of any age?...
Listen. Plain and simple.
And yes... even gurgling has its own message to
deliver, if your ears and mind open wide enough to
receive it.
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