December 2007

Remember that not getting what you want
is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck.
- His Holiness the Dalai Lama

Each year at this time, I spend time in healthy self-reflection. This December, I am quite humbled by the manner in which blessings, revelations, and understanding have be revealed to me in the past year. It is the unexpected challenges (or opportunities in disguise) that I am most grateful for. It has been a practical reminder that I have a choice - to resist or force static conditions...or to allow my life to be orchestrated by something much larger than me. Something that always - and in all ways - has my greatest good in store. Don't get me wrong...I know what I want. And I take actions towards that end each day. But what about where I am right now. Is it not paving the way perfectly? Is not the present moment a gift, a desire fulfilled in some way? I respond with an emphatic YES!...even when I am unable to explain how. It's not up to me to solve such Mysteries. Only to learn to live and swim within the vast expanse of the Unknown...and to yield to the scope of a Higher Vantage Point beyond.

Looking for a sign from your brilliance?

Give right of way to your SHiNE this holiday season...

Warm Holiday Blessings,
Candice

SIGN UP for theMessenger
Our FREE monthly eNewsletter
all subscriptions are secure through Constant Contact
View past issues of theMessenger to learn more

December 2007 - Book of The Month
The Other 90 Percent:
How to Unlock Your Untapped Potential in Leadership and Life
by Robert K. Cooper

A colleague and friend recently recommended this book to me... I am just getting around to reading it. I am only a quarter of the way through it; yet, I am fully enjoying the energy with which it is written. You can read lengthy reviews (and excerpts) on Amazon - see link below. In short, I consider it upbeat and inspiring tool the path to unleashing our brilliance.

Click Here for More Info on The Other 90 Percent.

Do you have recommendations for other brilliant resources?
I want to know about them! Email SHiNE

Tags: book review, the other 90 percent

Hoop Dancer DeGrazia

Today, I was gifted this stunning, limited-edition print by DeGrazia. I can hardly wait to get home and frame it... it so wonderfully captures the magic of the hoop. The DeGrazia Gallery was home to Ted and his wife Marion. Both created exceptional art within the walls of the studio. Yet, what stuck me as most precious was the love and creativity that they put into the grounds in which they lived. Touring the place is like walking in a desert painting, alive with color and the native american spirit of serving the whole.

I was reminded how the hoop is a symbol for that wholeness... of unity... this weekend. Our Thanksgiving celebration was at Daniel's uncle's home in Scottsdale. This was my first time meeting this side of the family. They were all so warm and welcoming. One of the highlights of the evening was after dinner. I had a hoop in the rental car. Upon the urging of the group, we brought it out for a demonstration. I made sure that everyone else had a chance in the hoop first. Daniel's younger brother, Nathan, is a good sport. He jumped in first... followed by Daniel... his stepmom... then aunts, uncles, and cousins. It was immediate joy bursting from the seams! I gazed around in awe as the entire family was bathed in contagious laughter. And I remembered why this simple service that I offer is so potent.

The Circle.
It brings people together.
By its very nature, it unites.
And for its simple teachings, I am grateful.

When I was searching for an image of the above print to share with you, I ran across this poem. I hope you enjoy it as I did. And I hope that you find yourself in a circle dance of your own, sometime soon.

Hoop Dancer
(Based on the painting by Ted De Grazia)

A stream of light flows in circles around me.
Hoops and halos surround my body,
as I reach through each center with a dancing limb.
My pointed foot draws a blue circle
while my outstretched hand
paints a swirl of bright yellow.

I am the hoop dancer.
I carve a story into the night air,
as I move in rhythms,
that make my heart pump stronger
and my skin tremble with pure knowledge.

The lyrical notes fall all at once
from the dark, speckled sky.
They come crashing in waves,
and jingle at my beaded, fringed ankles.
Movement creates a limitless space between
my feet and the dry, crumbled earth beneath.
The hoops are as light as the air itself.
They raise me up and I am in flight.
Each circle is a galaxy –
each waving feather in my headdress
creates the stardust that lights up the world around me
so that my body is the bonfire –
aglow with a story.
It is the narrative of the hoop.

Cristina M. R. Norcross
August 2, 2006

Tags: circle dance, hoopdance, hoola hoop, hula hoop

Sabino Canyon, Arizona
November 21, 2007

Yesterday we hiked 10 miles... a journey into Sabino Canyon just outside of Tucson, Arizona. This is by far the best photo taken of Daniel and I on the mountain side. The desert is so majestic and beautiful. It's like walking in another world.

We are here visiting Daniel's family (his Dad's side) for the Thanksgiving holiday. The sunny skies... and the warm, dry air is medicinal to my body and spirit. I forget how much pleasure I feel in the silent pathways along a mountainside... blazing towards the summit. There is a meditation in walking a trail that is unparalleled. The first half hour or so, there is an effort to it. The body, like an engine, warming up and readying itself for the road ahead. Then it happens. The zone in which the body and nature become one... and the mountain seems to move me.

As I was traversing my way down the trail, I noticed my legs feeling that lovely warm, rubbery sensation. I began to pick up speed and hop and skip... up and down... in and out of the miniature mazes created by fallen rock. The subtle muscle fatigue caused me to slip now and then. I did the dance of regaining center each time (something that I secretly relish in). One such time, Daniel was behind me, and he cautioned me with care. Then added playful, "you're so graceful, baby." I smiled... then I heard myself say:

"Grace is in how your recover; it's not about what happens along the way." And as I continued to walk, I contemplated these words and settled upon their truth, for me, at this moment in my journey.

Nature has a mysterious medicine that can be heard with the ears of silence.
Here's to more adventures in Her landscapes!

Faith (according to Wikipedia):
To commit oneself to act based on sufficient evidence to warrant belief, but without absolute proof. Mere belief on the basis of evidence is not faith. To have faith involves an act of will.

Today I spent some time talking with a very dear friend regarding some changes developing in her life. As I listened to her story, I reflected on how much is unknown in the unfolding of our lives. As humans, we are most comfortable with some degree of predictability in our everyday. When that sense of order is challenged, we can sometimes feel like we are in the midst of a great ocean without sight of the shore. What should I do? Where am I headed? And how will I know when I get there?!, we wonder.

I am definitely a black sheep in my family... yet really in the best possible way. My relatives often wonder at the way I choose to live my life. I have made the conscious choice to sacrifice certain securities for a those uncertain. While many of the conditions of my life have fluctuated considerably over the years, the one security that matters most to me (while it may be briefly forgotten from time to time) is never truly threatened. It resides deep within my heart. It is FAITH. Faith in the Brilliance that guides my life. It is the "SH NE" that "i" am surrounded by.

Recent events have actually challenged the faith that is my trusted foundation. Given the recent evolution in my most intimate relationship (with a man whom I love dearly), Brilliance has taught me a very valuable lesson. I am realizing that, all too often, I have prematurely assigned my faith inappropriately. Upon reflection, I see that I have placed my faith in a condition (such as: a particular job, relationship, or source of inspiration)... leading me to be repeatedly baffled when I outgrow it. At other times, I have placed my faith in those people close to me, sometimes experiencing confusion (or even resentment) when their desires no longer align with mine.

This became obvious in recent days as I felt a nagging anxiousness... wondering if a particular condition that I have invested my faith in will serve me in the end. Placing my faith in this uncertain outcome, I felt insecure and afraid. How could faith feel so fickle?! Today it became clear... to place attachment to something or someone outside of me is an illusion of control masquerading as faith.

When I look around at the Great Unknown of my life, I can sometimes feel a great sense of overwhelm. At those times, I find myself looking for something (or someone) to bring me a sense of security, safety, and a sense of control over my destiny. Yet, I know better. Born a black sheep, I know to trust the one thing that is certain...

Therefore, I am choosing to actively place faith in the Unknown. Yes... by definition faith dares me to place my trust in the one thing that I truly believe always and in all ways will lead me to my greatest good: paradoxically, that which is far outside the scope of my understanding. Now THAT I believe in.

You see, for me, faith defies reason. And it is with an irrational certainty that I find the greatest sense of Peace in my heart and mind. Call me crazy... call me naive... call me what you will. Meanwhile, I call upon the Love that I believe in above all else.

Faith is Freedom. It is true liberation to know that you are secure in every way that matters in the end. And so I choose to dip inside for a Freedom that is attached to no-thing and no-one. I will do my best to love others with more Freedom... without need to hold on to any condition, person, relationship, or outcome. I will move towards what moves me with a heart faithful in its trajectory.

There is only one thing that I commit to holding onto.... the Loving Hand that guides me gently along this joyful path of self-discovery.

Tags: faith is freedom, the unknown, black sheep

When I woke, I told Daniel (my partner in home and life) what I had just experienced. He listened intently, as he does so well. Then he added with surprise that we had dreamed the same! He had just woken from a dream where I had stepped in a campfire! He was yelling to me to pull my foot out quickly. In his dream, my pant leg had caught fire. He was concerned for my safety.

It was as if he penetrated my own dream world to be the man who cautioned me; as he was simultaneously receiving the same message. And interesting that in his dream the fire was burning hot. In my waking world, he is often urging me to slow down and sees fires burning wild in me when I am not fully aware. I am grateful to him as a witness.

In that same dream, I was running around the campsite holding a very small and sweet turtle in my hand. It was so small that I could hold it with my thumb and forefingers. I had been told to represent the turtle in a fight against another animal who was much bigger and faster. I remember feeling anxiety that this kind, slow-moving creature would be placed up against such a senseless challenge. I was struck by its continual pleas for help... as it would stretch out its head and cry out before retreating again and again into its shell for protection. I telepathically urged it to stay inside! but it kept crying out for help.

So I say to whatever Dream Guides may be out there... I am heeding your call. The message of the fire delivered through both Daniel and I is undeniably something to be mindful of. And the Medicine of the Turtle fits into this mix perfectly. I am grateful to that little guy in my dream!

TURTLE MEDICINE
http://morningstar.netfirms.com/turtle.html

Affirmation for Turtle Medicine:
"I am open to moving with the waters of life that I may find my true place and fulfillment."

When Turtle appears and for those who carry this medicine, it is also important that we have patience and act only when we feel the time is right for us to do so. Turtles themselves are slow moving and do have slow metabolisms. Yet because of their slow movement they are much more aware of what is going on around them! We can call upon this energy to help become more aware of our own surroundings and thus be better able to grab and act upon opportunities that we might otherwise have missed if we were hurtling along at a more frenetic pace!

Faster is not always better, if one moves too quickly, attention to minor details may be passed over resulting in a loss of opportunity because one was not better prepared or one may fail to notice that an even more fulfilling door was opening. Our world has become so solar, everyone feeling the push to constantly act and do rather than sit and just be and know that from time to time, thats precisely what we need to be doing. Yet as a very wise person once said, "we are Human BE-ings, not Human Do-ings!"

Other things that may be important for you when Turtle appears :
- A successful completion of one phase leads to a new cycle of opportunity opening for you.
- Greater Success and Recognition for hard work and painstaking effort.
- A sense of willingness to begin anew after a cycle of pain or hardship.
- Feeling more connected with the flow of the Universe or having a sense of your own personal cosmic mission.
- International travel or business success.
- A Change of job or residence, sometimes via a promotion that leads to needing to change one's residence.
- Anything that requires patience, hard work, attention to details or is very long term is wonderful to start at this time.

TURTLE
http://www.geocities.com/tammlynn/turtle.htm

The turtle is a shore creature, using the land and the water. All shore areas are associated with doorways to the Faerie Realm. The turtle is sometimes known as the keeper to the doors. Turtles thus were often seen as signs of fairy contact and the promise of fairy rewards.

 In Nigeria, the turtle was a symbol of the female sex organs and sexuality. To the Native Americans, it was associated with the lunar cycle, menstruation, and the power of the female energies. The markings and sections on some turtles total thirteen. In the lunar calendar, there are either thirteen full moons or thirteen new moons alternating each year. Many believe this is where the association with the female energies originated. Turtle is the symbol of the primal mother.

[Interestingly, I had started my moon in the middle of the night, just prior to having this dream.]

If turtle has shown up in your life, it is time to get connected to your most primal essence. Go within your shell and come out when your ideas are ready to be expressed. It is time to recgonize that there is an abundance out there for you. It doesn't have to be gotten quickly and immediately. Take your time and let the natural flow work for you. Too much, too soon, can upset the balance. Turtle reminds us that we all need for all that we do is available to use, if we approach it in the right manner and time.

Tags: turtle medicine, dreams

November 2007

Gratitude is the memory of the heart.
- Jean Baptiste Massieu

I love the idea of a remniscent and grateful heart. I could reflect volumes on what the heart has led me to know in my short life. It is upon its urgings that I continually traverse the majestic mountain of my spirit's longing. And the ever-more expansive views continually take my breath away! This month, I sit in silent celebration of the imprints of self-love that gratitude has left deep within my heart.

I looked up the etymology of the word gratitude. There are many derivations listed...however, I am most struck by the root of the word as: grace, to welcome. How much of the time do we graciously welcome the remarkable conditions of our life? Do we fight with tooth and nail to change them so that we might find peace in our hearts (chasing the dragon for days, months, years at a time)? Or do we look deeply within out hearts, invite gratitude, and welcome the path that is revealing us one glorious petal at a time? I commit to choosing the latter more often. While I do understand gratitude to be an agent of creation (modern metaphysics teaches us to give thanks in advance for that which our heart desires)...I am more inclined to feel an authentic and divine buzz of appreciation when I allow my heart to remember, notice, and celebrate the many miracles of everyday magic in my current reality. It is in this space that I feel my heart SHiNE with gratitude and remembrance.

In coaching sessions and teacher trainings, I often hear myself reminding clients to reframe their perspectives. I witness that we are often cynical in our approach to our life circumstances. Yet, by consciously shifting our vantage point from one of critical perplexity and resistance to curious wonder and acceptance, we create a space for gratitude to emerge.

Invite Wonder. Embrace Gratitude.
Not for what it might bring you to do so,
but for all that your heart already possesses in the simple act of holding you close.

With Wonder-filled Gratitude,
Candice

SIGN UP for theMessenger
Our FREE monthly eNewsletter
all subscriptions are secure through Constant Contact
View past issues of theMessenger to learn more

Tags: gratitude

As children bring their broken toys, with tears for us to mend,
I brought my broken dreams to God, because he was my friend.

But then, instead of leaving him, in peace to work alone,
I hung around and tried to help, with ways that were my own.

At last, I snatched them back and cried, "How can you be so slow?"
"My child," he said, "What could I do? You never did let go."

- Author Unknown

In a session today with a client, I had another realization regarding The Law of Attraction... and another reason why I experience some dissonance within when I read some of the popular conceptions about it. (This posting is one in a continual thread - See The Law of Attraction in the archives for more).

My heart tells me that there is a Force that guides my life. It is a Love beyond measure, and within it contains the Potentiality of my greatest good. I trust in this Guidance as, over the course of my life, I have learned that its Infinite Wisdom far exceeds mine. While I can dip into Its vastness in moments of clarity, I cannot pretend to comprehend Its Intelligence. I am but a small twinkle, a reflection on a body of water larger than any concept that a mind that rests in it can hold.

I have impulses and fleeting desires in the every-changing seasons of my life... and I may buzz within my very physical being (my cells) in order to bring forth experiences that I want. Such is the Law of Attraction at work. And yes... I experience one level of fulfillment; yet, my spirit may remains hungry. Why? Because I make the human fallacy to think that I actually know what's best for me on the highest levels. Perhaps I do. Perhaps at other times, I don't. But I am beginning to wonder...

What if I don't need to know?!

Today it occurred to me clear as day: What if in all this metaphysical mumbo jumbo, we have it all backwards?! What if I lived a life where it's really not up to me what will bring me the most joy, the most fulfillment, or the biggest paycheck?

Let's look at it in relationship to SHiNE.

The Law of Attraction = my desires are available to me to the degree with which I align with them. I pull my heart's deepest desires to me via my feel good vibration. = Some Effort To Feel Good


The Law of Attracting Fulfillment = true fulfillment is available to me to the degree with which I align with that which I am naturally most attracted to. My heart's deepest desires pull me towards a life where I am living my greatest good IF I am willing to allow my passions to guide me. = Little Effort To Feel Good

WHAT IF it's not that I need to learn to feel good in order to attract my greater good (whatever I think that might be)?... but instead, that by moving towards what inherently feels good I am, by perfect design, moving towards the greater good that already Life has in store for me. What if I just need to let go of the controls?

How is this different? It is subtle shift of awareness, sure... nevertheless, a liberating one! I don't have to magnetize my desires to me... my most heartfelt desires magnetize ME into Perfect Being. This is at the heart of the work of unleashing SHiNE.

For years a held a vision for the life that I desired. I had an picture of how I thought that would look... the specific pieces necessary to complete the puzzle, creating the image of fulfillment that I had in mind. In the career realm, I moved into a variety of positions that made sense and did everything that I could to make each piece of the puzzle to fit. I fought to feel good in circumstances that didn't. I battled with my mind that urged me to stay, even though my spirit withered. I created struggle when all that I longed for what ease in my heart. Eventually, again and again, I fell to my knees in despair and uttered a plea of surrender. It was then that my life transformed. When I said, "That's it! I give up!! I will stop trying... I will let go... I will follow the signals that I am provided... I will stop pretending that I have the formula for this miracle of a journey... and turn things over to The One Who Does." On these occasions, my weary body-mind literally fell to the floor and proclaimed: I give up knowing how. I am willing. I am ready. Show Me.

And each time my prayer has always, always been heard. After a good night's sleep and an ego sacrificed at the altar of Divine Wisdom, I am free of my agenda. Even then, I am usually looking in another direction at the time when Guidance taps me on the shoulder... it whispers to me (never with urgency, only as a gentle invitation): "See how the energy flows here... Ease... This is the way... Come, come this way, my dear." I have learned to go towards what moves me at the deepest level. I move eagerly now towards that which attracts me - not just superficially, but on a soulular level... the level of love and least resistance. And when I do... when I trust even the most minutely brilliant impulse, my life continues taking off in ways I might have never dreamed possible.

And your spirit likely strives for more out of life than what you can conceive in your own heart and mind. You may create a very satisfying life by feeling good... or you can allow an extraordinary life to create you by feeling God! There is no need to work to feel good... just follow what fuels the stirrings at the deepest core of you (whether it's an art class, a walk in the park, or a leap of faith). Let go of how exactly it will fit into your big picture, just trust that inspired moments always do - somehow.

Move towards what moves you. And trust the path of ease. And take care not to confuse ease with easy - sometimes our passion for brilliant living leads us onto a path to develop greater strength. Yet you will hardly notice in the end... as the life that emerges from such moments is truly glorious in every meaning of the word.

There is no effort in feeling good when you do what feels good to you.
The path of least resistance is the Journey of the Joyful Ones. Join Us.

Tags: law of attraction, letting go

October 2007

Autumn is a second spring
when every leaf is a flower.
- Albert Camus

September blew through me like a sudden storm. I am in awe that yet another month has passed so quickly. Yet the bloom of color outdoors is making October quite real. And my world continues to shift and blow with the autumn winds. It is a blissful ride.

This month, the message is simple. I invite you to be mindful of all that falls around you. Become intoxicated by your own sensations of this magical season. Smell how the air breathes a certain crispness. Taste the flavor of new earth freshly dampened. Take time to look up. Yes, up. The wisdom of the trees is beckoning to you from above. If you pause long enough, you will find yourself on a high of sorts, drinking in the colors of fall. And if you dare, reach out and touch nature with your dance by letting pieces of you - those you are ready to shed - rejoin the earth with the autumn leaves at your feet.

Free your warm summer heart.
May it quiver and shake to the surface
blossom in colors vast
and fall to the earth once more.

Falling on Purpose,
Candice

SIGN UP for theMessenger
Our FREE monthly eNewsletter
all subscriptions are secure through Constant Contact
View past issues of theMessenger to learn more

October 2007 - Book of The Month
Peace Is Every Step: The Path of Mindfulness in Everyday Life
by Thich Nhat Hanh

This month, I choose to share with you a pivotal book upon my journey of awakening. A simple book by a simple monk with a simple message... it changed everything for me a decade ago. Thich Nhat Hanh delivers his message of meditation, bringing it alive in ways that transcend a meditation cushion or temple floors. If you want to change the way you experience the mundane moments of life, you have to read this book. You will never do dishes (or look at a dandelion) the same again.


Excerpt:

The Dandelion Has My Smile

If a child smiles, if an adult smiles, that is very important. If in our daily lives we can smile, if we can be peaceful and happy, not only we, but everyone will profit from it. If we really know how to live, what better way to start the day than with a smile? Our smile affirms our awareness and determination to live in peace and joy. The source of a true smile is an awakened mind.

How can you remember to smile when you wake up? You might hang a reminder--such as a branch, a leaf, a painting, or some inspiring words--in your window or from the ceiling above your bed, so that you notice it when you wake up. Once you develop the practice of smiling, you may not need a reminder. You will smile as soon as you hear a bird singing or see the sunlight streaming through the window. Smiling helps you approach the day with gentleness and understanding.

When I see someone smile, I know immediately that he or she is dwelling in awareness. This half-smile, how many artists have labored to bring it to the lips of countless statues and paintings? I am sure the same smile must have been on the faces of the sculptors and painters as they worked. Can you imagine an angry painter giving birth to such a smile? Mona Lisa's smile is light, just a hint of a smile. Yet even a smile like that is enough to relax all the muscles in our face, to banish all worries and fatigue. A tiny bud of a smile on our lips nourishes awareness and calms us miraculously. It returns to us the peace we thought we had lost.

Our smile will bring happiness to us and to those around us. Even if we spend a lot of money on gifts for everyone in our family, nothing we buy could give them as much happiness as the gift of our awareness, our smile. And this precious gift costs nothing. At the end of a retreat in California, a friend wrote this poem:

I have lost my smile, but don't worry. The dandelion has it.

If you have lost your smile and yet are still capable of seeing that a dandelion is keeping it for you, the situation is not too bad. You still have enough mindfulness to see that the smile is there.

You only need to breathe consciously one or two times and you will recover your smile. The dandelion is one member of your community of friends. It is there, quite faithful, keeping your smile for you.
In fact, everything around you is keeping your smile for you. You don't need to feel isolated. You only have to open yourself to the support that is all around you, and in you. Like the friend who saw that her smile was being kept by the dandelion, you can breathe in awareness, and your smile will return.

Tags: thich nhat hanh, mindfulness, meditation

I am blessed to be writing this by the warmth of a fire, oceanside in Manzanita (on the Oregon Coast). Daniel's family has a beautiful home right at the water's edge. It's a space that I call the Sanctuary... as it brings me tremendous peace to spend time here. To come here is something I hope to never take for granted. As I type this, Daniel reads me the following quote from a book he is reading, One Song: A New Illuminated Rumi. (We both share a fascination with Sufism and its wisdom.)

Separate from yourself that which separates you from others.
- Bawa Muhaiyaddeen

What a potent message. As I hear the waves crashing out the window at my back, I am reminded that life - by design - is continually renewing itself. My life is a part of Life Itself; and therefore, I am in harmony when attuned to Its natural cycles. The ocean whispers to me, "Let go of all that you know yourself to be in order to pour back into the exhilarating vastness of who you may soon become." I say yes... I am willing to do just that. Perhaps the quote above is a reliable instrument of measure in determining which aspects I might release, and which to embrace and hold as sacred. The sea holds onto nothing. It continually circulates and renews... keeping no wave separate from another.

May I learn to walk in the world with as much grace as the ocean.

Once again, I choose the road less traveled.

It seems that the past ten years of my life has been about paving new pathways. My most recent choice - to recommit to a relationship that has experienced so much recent upheaval - is perhaps one of my most courageous endeavors to date. And it is good. I feel a healthy dose of exhilaration traversing the brilliant landscapes of these ever-greater altitudes. For a time, the fog was thick as I navigated the unknown twists and turns - reason would have me take the first exit as my light continually bounced back at me with a blinding force, daring me to look my own reflection in the face. Nevertheless, I made the choice to move forth with my course set for an unknown destination. And may I be so bold as to say that I am the better for it.

In the aftermath of disaster comes the opportunity to begin again. Sometimes, a new path is in order. Yet, quite often in relationship we are invited to stay our course along a more conscious trajectory.

I am learning to experience true intimacy as many small deaths of self in the Divine Mirror of partnership. If we are willing to look directly at the co-created offsprings of our union, more of ourselves can be revealed to us. In essence, two people willing to meet the gaze of one another fully - even if once their eyes once flitted to and fro with fear - have the sudden potential to experience a communion of love unparalleled.

It is human nature to flea from vulnerability. Most relationships reach many critical points - those pivotal crossroads that are inevitable when two hearts are sharing a path, each with unique desires. And so emerges the opportunity to learn how to truly love and grow in the company of another. In some cases, in a time of crisis, one or both parties may be unwilling to self-reflect... to peer beneath the surface in order to rise above the drama of circumstance. Sometimes the pain of the moment is so debilitating - especially when old traumas are triggered by the choices of someone whom we love - that to stay is to face an inner demon for whom we are unprepared to wage war. In these times, sudden splits occur. Yet certainly too, there are times when an experience is there to unearth an incompatibility that requests that a relationship shifts, changes form in an organic fashion. It is the wise and practiced partnership that can navigate such shifts with grace and open hearts.

I have felt the tug of both realties in the past few months... yet have somehow landed in a space in between. Gazing around at the sea of destruction all around me, I see opportunity. And I feel tremendous gratitude. My partnership is brand new... it has been devastated in order to be RESET by a force much larger than the both of us. In the aftermath of calamity we have been able to discover one another brand new. Once the story line of our distant hearts dissolved... all that was left was a wondrous sea to explore - how did we lose sight of one another?

As much as I feared what it meant to re-enter such a space of vulnerability, I feel met by a wise force of forgiveness and grace that is neither naive or weak-hearted. In fact, it is the most empowering love I have every known. It says, I will not run from this heart of mine. I face its journey with willingness.

May I continue to surrender to this path of love that reveals me to be more than I once was.

Tags: forgiveness, grace, relationships

HoopGirl Teacher Training - Portland, OR
September 21 - September 23

I am continually inspired and grateful to be a part of the HoopGirl Network. It's really about so much more than hoopdance. Christabel (HoopGirl Founder) and I just completed a three-day teacher training here in Portland. It was a rich experience... facilitating 14 talented individuals in their discovery of their path as teachers.

There is so much to comment on, that I won't do it justice here. Let me just speak to the power of potential recognized. Each and every person in the training has something significant to offer. Again and again, I am reminded that the SHiNE philosophy is reflected all around me. It is such an honor to be a part of the unleashing of personal power. I feel a responsibility as a trainer: to do everything within my power to encourage (in-courage... instill courage) by reminding each person of the uniqueness that is their birthright. It feels so rewarding to deliver a message that resonates through every cell of my being... what you bring matters!

Facilitating with Christabel is an utter joy... she and I came together only a few months ago with such grace. Our styles compliment one another brilliantly. And she always amazes me with her evermore radiant presence, articulate presentation, and authenticity. She is a true pioneer - not only in the hooping world - but as a paradigm-shifter at the cutting edge of conscious business and co-creation. It is truly an honor to work alongside her. She has offered me a platform to exercise my gifts... without her faith in me, it would be a few paces behind where I am now. I am grateful for the ways that she has held up a mirror to me, as a colleague and as a friend.

And Miss Taj... ah, what can I say? She is a Licensed HoopGirl Teacher who participated in a teacher training we held in LA a few months ago. She has since jumped on board to join the team as a Master Trainer and was present throughout the week to assist - and did she ever! Her silent service was such a blessing. She is a powerhouse of presence, with a silent potency I find intoxicating. I look forward to many more opportunities to work with her on various levels.

I will save time by keeping my comments general regarding the attendees (although I could quite easily post at length about each trainee and his or her unique brand of magic). It is the mock teaching practicums and feedback sessions that light me up... this is always my favorite aspect of the trainings. To witness the evolution of each trainee - in just three short days - is pure inspiration. It takes a tremendous amount of courage to do what they do... jumping in with both feet and being receptive to feedback from the group. I celebrate those raw moments, and express my gratitude at being able to be a part of it.

Congratulations to all of you... Lacye, Erika, Nathan, Nicole, Ali, Lynn, Sabine, Karly, Tia, Leslie, Yvette, Anne, Jennifer, & Lori Lynn. You are all uniquely gifted... it was a joy to be a part of your unfolding.

Tags: HoopGirl Training, hoola hoop, hula hoop, hoopdance

Since mid-June, I have shared so much on my blog regarding my recent path of healing. And in the last few weeks have I taken some time to journey inward without you all as a witness.

I suppose much of my absence was sparked by a recent healing session with Kyle Cline. In addition to his skill in Chinese Medicine, he offers a powerful receptivity as a counselor and healer. Our session, on that day in early August, delivered to me many insights. During a traditional Chi Nei Tsang (organ massage) treatment, he invite me to dialogue with my organs one at a time. At first - as we moved from organ to organ - I heard only my skeptic brain firing away with doubt... yet in the space that grew around it, I finally became empty enough to hear.

It was a message from my heart that stood out. Among other things, it said to me via word and imagery: "My skin and the skin of your body are one and the same."

I shared this with Kyle after my treatment. He said it reminded him of the saying... "you wear your heart on your sleeve." I was struck by this parallel, as these words have been spoken to me on more than one occasion in my life. Ever since then, I have been pondering this aspect of how I have navigated my emotions in recent years. Ironically, I have spent the last decade of my life undoing the tendency to hide what I was feeling behind a facade that lasted through my early-twenties. I carried a thick membrane of protection - a buffer around me - to keep the world out... and me in! Since I began shedding the skin of days old, I have become more vulnerable and have developed the courage to share what is in my heart with greater ease. Yet it seems that I may have pushed my heart to far to the surface, it could use a bit more of a buffer between it and the conditions that surround.

The skin of the body IS our most largest and most vulnerable organ. It stands in the face of any number of elements that can scathe, penetrate, or scar upon contact. In some cases, trauma to the skin leaves a scar behind that stands as a testament to the pain for a lifetime. What is it to say that my heart feels a similar vastness and vulnerability?

For me, it is to say that I am discovering the power and freedom of the feminine as a blessing that must be honored as sacred.

So much has shifted in recent weeks, since I have last opened the door to my heart so publicly. I fearlessly allowed you all to bear witness as my most intimate relationship carried me through a tempest of change. Over the past month, the winds of emotion have calmed, and I have accepted an opportunity to grow and evolve in relationship with another who is willing to do the same.

The potency of this moment in my life is palpable. I rode the pendulum - at times holding on for dear life, or so it seemed - as it swung me from stark-naked open heartedness to the matter-of-factedness of survival mode. Somehow, I have found my way to the middle. I am being invited to embrace my Feminine power and love myself enough to face the reflections of love in my life.

My heart is finding its way in the world. It is not popular to live with an open-heart in a society that tells us we are weak to live alongside vulnerability. Nevertheless, I desire to become intimate with love as it reveals itself to me and through me... the shedding of old skin making way for more brilliant layers to shine through.

September 2007

You are perfectly safe as long as you are completely unconcerned about your readiness, but maintain a consistent trust in mine.
- A Course in Miracles

Living a path of brilliance is a courageous surrender to the harmonious flow of life. I experience trust as an active endeavor and a choice in each moment - the perfect balance between conscious direction of purpose and peaceful yielding to the view far above my scope.

I see the space inside me like the contours of a river bed, being shaped and transformed by the force of creativity that dares me to give it license. Fear would have me resist the unknown agendas of the currents of life; yet Love is there to embrace the shadow dancer within me - illuminating darkness with awareness. When I relax enough to allow light to pour through me with little to no resistance, I am liberated to likewise saturate the world around me...fulfilling the path and purpose of how the world is meant to be experienced through me.

'Safety' is an undeniable theme in working with clients who are daring to live their brilliance. Fear, trepidation, and the force of the unknown can sometimes drive us into something resembling madness, as we shed who we always thought we were in order to embrace a new reality that is emerging. Often fear responds to our heart's yearnings: "ah, perhaps one day, but certainly not now. I am not ready for such-and-such to change." In reality, we are quite ready for a change. It is lack of trust in something better - the greater good in store for us - that stagnates our re-creation. In essence, we presume our deepest yearnings will betray us in the end, resulting in the paradoxical paralysis of a society at war within: What my heart yearns for in its expression is what most resembles me. And it is this that cannot be trusted. Therefore, that which most resembles me is unsafe. I must become who I am not to be functional and secure.

Today, I dare you to completely sever ties to such faulty logic. Become your greatest ally. Safety is a choice based on this simple, yet profound, shift in perception. I challenge you to entertain the idea that it is safe to be you. The madness is in succumbing to fear - resisting how the currents of life are pushing from within, eager to re-create your outer world so that you might experience you in its fullness. And remember, recreation is supposed to be fun!

When change is happening, I know without a doubt that I am ready...or it simply would not be. I am safe when I choose to trust that the currents of my soul's cries are carrying me towards an ever-greater good. And that, my friends, is the best part! Our rivers all pour into the same ocean...and goodness is the only destination.

Embrace Change. You Are Ready. You Are Safe.

SIGN UP for theMessenger
Our FREE monthly eNewsletter
all subscriptions are secure through Constant Contact
View past issues of theMessenger to learn more

Tags: A course in miracles, trust, life coaching, shine coaching

Yesterday, I had the pleasure of meeting 4-month old Sophie. In our brief exchange, we had a conversation of substance that I rarely experience with grown adults. As she gurgled and grinned her brilliance my way, I felt satisfied and met in our interaction. Now, I won't propose to know what this blue-eyed angel was attempting to communicate; however, I can say that the purity of our eye contact and exchange of energy delivered its message clearly.

In college, I spent time working with young children while pursuing a degree in Psychology & Human Development and Family Life. I have always been very comfortable with children. Even as a teen, at family gatherings you could often find me at the kids' table, striking up conversation with my younger cousins and feeding off of the joy they exuded. You see, I have always understood the brilliance of youth. I have never understood why we are so encouraged to put a lid on the light that burns through us. The hushes of relatives ("simmer down now!") always felt stifling to me. In fact, they still do! Of course, a healthy degree of self-restraint is a discipline worth sharing. Nevertheless, how often do we ask ourselves when we have crossed the line from disciplining to controlling our children? How can we guide them honorably - acknowledging their unique self while facilitating its expression in an unpredictable world?

I believe with all of my heart that children are here to teach us. Our job - as parents and as the village that supports - is to nurture and facilitate each child in his or her unique talents and passions. A child is a clear mirror that reflects the light shined upon it. Certainly, a reflection of his or her environment and experiences. Yet a child is also an essential piece in a future that is unknown to all that came before. His or her brilliance is unprecendented... and each child deserves to be honored and celebrated for his or her contribution to the whole. And ironically, it is the contributions that are the least understood that will have the most lasting impact on the greater good of the planet in years to come. I invite us to judge less, and to look more closely. (As a very simplified example: Hyperactivity in children is at an all-time high. Perhaps we are being encouraged by our children to find avenues for physical energy that are constructive... as sitting in desks for long periods of time is unbearable for a new generation of kids who dare us to rethink the way we educate. Again, a simplification of a multi-factored reality; nevertheless, a popular perspective in many circles.)

I have found that the most powerful way to approach my work with children is to honor them as complete. Children are sometimes surprised by a primary and guiding principle in SHiNE sessions... that they have as much to share with me, as I with them. The recipe for success for connecting with a child of any age?...

Listen. Plain and simple.

And yes... even gurgling has its own message to deliver, if your ears and mind open wide enough to receive it.


More on SHiNE Kids & Teen

Tags: coaching kids, coaching teens, Adhd

Master the Flow of Brilliance

Hoopdance for me has very little to do with perfecting hoop tricks or enhancing physical conditioning. The primary reason that I am drawn into the hoop is for the ways in which it teaches me to reflect the flow of life.

Much like life, the hoop has a spiraling, elevating rhythm. This rhythm is one that invites us to merge with it - neither controlling nor neglecting our place in it. When we lack trust in this rhythm, we attempt to strong-arm life...pushing with too much force. At other times, we fall into the despair of inertia...no longer giving ourselves to the life all around us.

The experience of flow - of which the hoop is a perfect mirror - can teach us much about the laws of energy. While hooping, I must learn to reside in the middle. The center point, where my axis is grounded with integrity. I travel around this center, while meeting my relationship with the hoop in healthy balance. I push just enough - equally on all sides - to participate and bring myself to the relationship. When I attempt to control (or bully) the hoop, it lets me know by resisting my force. Likewise, when I neglect its inherent rhythm by refusing to meet it, it lets me know by weakly fumbling along. On both occasions, the hoop can be counted on to fall with a crash! - in that joyful resonance that announces an opportunity to learn... and return to the sensation of harmony.

The hoop teaches me how to find and maintain center. And it is from the core of me that I find and express my power.

The hoop shows me what it is to be in relationship where co-dependence immediately reveals its dysfunction... inviting me to instead differentiate in order to unite and create harmony.

The hoop offers me a safe container in which to reach my brilliance forth, while held in a space that cannot be penetrated.

And the hoop reminds me that I am capable of more than I ever imagined when I surrender to the flow of life... directing and yielding, smiling and laughing, spiraling ever higher.

Visit HoopShine.com to experience flow in your life.

Tags: why hoop, hoola hoop, hoopdance, hoopshine

September 2007 - Book of The Month
The Mastery of Love, by Don Miguel Ruiz

This book is a recommendation truly as a follow-up to his earlier work, The Four Agreements. When the message this earlier book is received and embodied, it has the power to transform your life in the most empowering of ways. While I am not far into it, I sense a similar potency in The Mastery of Love. If you have ever wanted to understand love as an action and purposeful way of life, you'll gain insights from this book.

Excerpt:
I want you to imagine that you live on a planet where everyone has a skin disease. For two or three thousand years, the people on your planet have suffered the same disease: Their entire bodies are covered by wounds that are infected, and those wounds really hurt when you touch them. Of course, they believe this is a normal physiology of the skin. Even the medical books describe this disease as a normal condition. When the people are born, their skin is healthy, but around three or four years of age, the first wounds start to appear. By the time they are teenagers, there are wounds all over their bodies.

Can you imagine how these people are going to treat each other? In order to relate with one another, they have to protect their wounds. They hardly ever touch each other’s skin because it is too painful. If by accident you touch someone’s skin, it is so painful that right away she gets angry and touches your skin, just to get even. Still, the instinct to love is so strong that you pay a high price to have relationships with others.

Well, imagine that a miracle occurs one day. You awake and your skin is completely healed. There are no wounds anymore, and it doesn’t hurt to be touched. Healthy skin you can touch feels wonderful because the skin is made for perception. Can you imagine yourself with healthy skin in a world where everyone has a skin disease? You cannot touch others because it hurts them, and no one touches you because they make the assumption that it will hurt you.

If you can imagine this, perhaps you can understand that someone from another planet who came to visit us would have a similar experience with humans. But it isn’t our skin that is full of wounds. What thevisitor would discover is that the human mind issick with a disease called fear. Just like the description of the infected skin, the emotional body is full ofwounds, and these wounds are infected with emotional poison. The manifestation of the disease of fear is anger, hate, sadness, envy, and hypocrisy; the result of the disease is all the emotions that make humans suffer.

...

Imagine that you could visit a planet where everyone has a different kind of emotional mind. The way they relate to each other is always in happiness, always in love, always in peace. Now imagine that one day you awake on this planet, and you no longer have wounds in your emotional body. You are no longer afraid to be who you are. Whatever someone says about you, whatever they do, you don’t take it personally, and it doesn’t hurt anymore. You no longer need to protect yourself. You are not afraid to love, to share, to open your heart. But no one else is like you. How can you relate with people who are emotionally wounded and sick with fear?

More Info & Excerpts

Tags: mastery of love, book review, don miguel ruiz

Wise Heart - Compassionate Communication
with LaShelle Charde

Today I had the privilege of attending a workshop on NVC (non-violent communication). This two-hour introductory event, entitled Compassionate Communication, was led by LaShelle Charde. She is a gifted, local facilitator who lovingly and graceful guides others in clarity and connection. I highly recommend her services to anyone who would like to bring consciousness and compassion to relationship and communication. Her logo (pictured above) really visibly describes the sensation of being held in the container that NVC provides. Check out one of her local classes soon... perhaps I will see you there!

To learn more about LaShelle & NVC:
visit her website: www.wiseheartpdx.org or the NVC site: www.cnvc.org

Saying What's Real:
7 Keys to Authentic Communication and Relationship Success
by Susan Campbell

This book is another great resource recommended to enliven communication in your most intimate relationships. I have only scratched the surface of its contents; however, it is rich with tangible resources that will empower you to bring honesty to your communications with less anxiety and greater ease. Campbell suggests seven keys to authentic communication and relationship success, giving you verbal anchors that guide a more grounded approach to expressing the truth within your heart and mind. Examples include: "Hearing you say that, I feel...", I am getting triggered...", "I appreciate you for...". Each statement is explained more in-depth so that you may learn to create the energetic environment that will support listening, speaking, and being heard with purity.

Learn more

Tags: wise heart, compassionate communication, lashelle charde, saying whats real

Today is my birthday. And I write to give thanks for each and every moment of my life. Yes, even the moments most painful... especially those. Someone in my family who loves me very much recently said, "I wish that I could take all these trials away from you." And for just a moment, I had a glimpse of my life without its current opportunities for growth. Without skipping a beat, I replied, "While I deeply appreciate the sentiment, I welcome my trials... as they make me able to love more in the end."

And that's just what has happened. I am bursting at the seams with an inspired and bountiful sensation of love this morning. Another year has passed... and it was a great year. It was a year that taught me how to love more than I ever knew possible.

I am able to love my friends and family with a new gratitude, as they have each held me so close to their hearts for the past few weeks. Realizing their love for me has helped me to see myself clearly again and again. May each of you know how much your graceful and persistent love is helping to shape me whole again.

I am able to love the dear man who blessed my life with his presence for the past year - to love him even more through the process of letting him go - so that with my blessings he may become the man that he is destined to be in the lives of so many others. May he be a better man having walked with me for a time.

I am able to hold a vaster space of love for my clients - as they pass from light into darkness and into the more luminous light on the other side - for I know what it is to make what is fragmented whole again by holding it to the light of truth. May you catch even a glimpse of the brilliance I know to be yours, and you will sense how the steady gaze of love's mirror works in your life.

And, most importantly, I am able to love myself more. I have learned to rest into my own embrace and welcome the intimacy of self-inquiry and forgiveness. This, thanks to my connection to the one relationship that lifts me highest... that with the Beloved. It is the most treasured love of them all. May I continue to walk in the midst of Your Love... knowing You is knowing that I am loved beyond measure. I commit to no longer keeping my love for You a secret. I commit to fearlessly bringing how You SHiNE Light through me out into the open in the coming year... so that I might inspire others to do the same.

Happy Birthday to me...
Happy Birthday to me....
Happy Birthday Dear Candice
Happy Birthday to me!

(why wait for someone else to do it? after all, I am dear to me too!)

Tags: happy birthday to me

August 2007

Walking the talk. It is the ultimate journey. Hungry for integrity, the spiritual seeker in us reaches out for connection to resources that will nourish the very foundation of who we are. Paradoxically, we discover that the more developed and trustworthy the roots at our feet, the greater potential for wingspan above.

Integrity (integrated truths as guiding principles) is a function of witnessing ourselves and others, in each and every moment, and embracing an honest approach to all of life. It is an energetic environment where the ticking time bomb of fear is diffused through acknowledging the true nature of our intentions each emerging moment. Integrity is an ally that whispers over our shoulder in search of the truth: What is my intention? Am I walking my talk to the best of my ability? How are my actions impacting the whole of life around me? Am I acting in alignment with my core values? What is motivating my actions in this moment? And most importantly - when we feel stuck face-to-face with a truth we can't swallow - it asks: What exactly am I afraid of?... inviting us to embrace the answer as the most potent and powerful truth of the moment.

Knowing the truth is fairly useless.
Feeling it is profound.
Living it makes all the difference.

David Deida
from The Blue Truth

I love this quote by Deida. It speaks to my journey to find integrity... a slow-moving maturation to greater and greater alignment with my values and practices. I have discoverd that learning is an elementary frolic with the truth... and that embodying is the adolescent struggle to hold tight to truths that we hope to find salvation in. Yet when we master the truth as a way of being, there is no longer need to hold on to anything. Integrity becomes a way of life, an integrated and effortless way of being that embraces it all. And so, wholeness finds us... again and again and again... as we are willing to let the light of truth in. In short, living truth (how ever-changing) is the path that leads to integrity.

Riding the winds of change, I am doing my best to welcome truth in. In order to develop greater intimacy with my own integrity, I have been openly sharing my truth with you, via my blog, to get to know its resonance as a way of life. You see, I believe that truth is not at its best when it is a static adherence to values and principles. It can better be experienced as a living resonance that can be sensed... a tonal quality that speaks of integrity in the moment and says, "I am delivering the truth of who I am, right here, right now." Truth at its worst is the fragmented reflection of self-righteousness. Truth at its best is the integrated experience of self-acceptance, wholeness expressed in thought, word, and action.

I want to invite you along on this journey of self-discovery with me. Invite the illumination of the truth of you. There are a number of avenues for you to travel that are offered here in theMessenger. It is my hope that wherever you may choose to plant yourself for a season of discovery, you accept the ways in which it awakens you to wholeness. Rest into the truth of each moment so that your roots may spread deep into an earth that feeds you. Welcome each and every opportunity, and push against it to reach higher than you ever thought possible.

Rooting in Richer Soils to Soar Higher,
Candice

SIGN UP for theMessenger
Our FREE monthly eNewsletter
all subscriptions are secure through Constant Contact
View past issues of theMessenger to learn more

Tags: shine coaching, life coaching , integrity, truth telling, david deida

August 2007 - Book of The Month
Eat Pray Love, by Elizabeth Gilbert

This book is an extraordinary and fun read. I picked it up at the urging of a dear friend. And, as the kind woman at the bookstore pointed out, it is a must-read for any woman of in her 30's-40's. In fact, any woman who has made the journey through self-discovery is sure to resonate with this articulate, funny, and lovable woman's journey. Check it out...

From the book jacket:

By the time she turned thirty, Elizabeth Gilbert had everything a modern, educated, ambitious American woman was supposed to want— a husband, a house in the country, a successful career. But in-stead of feeling happy and fulfilled, she was consumed with panic, grief and confusion. She went through a divorce, a crushing depression, another failed love and the complete eradication of every-thing she ever thought she was supposed to be.

To recover from all of this, Gilbert took a radical step. In order to give herself the time and space to find out who she really was and what she really wanted, she got rid of her belongings, quit her job, left her loved ones behind and undertook a year-long journey around the world, all alone. Eat, Pray, Love is the absorbing chronicle of that year. Gilbert's aim was to visit three places where she could examine one aspect of her own nature, set against the backdrop of a culture that has traditionally done that one thing very well. In Italy, she studied the art of pleasure, learning to speak Italian and gaining the twenty-three happiest pounds of her life. India was for the art of devotion, where, with the help of a native guru and a surprisingly wise Texan, she embarked on four months of austere spiritual exploration. Finally, in Indonesia, she sought her ultimate goal: balance-namely, how to somehow build a life of equilibrium between worldly enjoyment and divine transcendence. Looking for these answers on the island of Bali, she became the pupil of an elderly, ninth-generation medicine man and also fell in love in the very best way—unexpectedly.

An intensely articulate, sensible, moving and funny memoir of self-discovery, Eat, Pray, Love is about what can happen when you claim responsibility for your own contentment. It is also about the adventures that can transpire when a woman stops trying to live in imitation of society's ideals. This is a story certain to touch anyone who has ever woken up to the unrelenting need for change.

More Info

Tags: life coaching, eat pray love, book review, elizabeth gilbert

Betrayal Is An Inside Job
The Journey to Forgiveness

It has been said that the first time someone betrays you, it is his fault. And that each time after is your own. I resonate with this at first glance; yet, in light of recent events, I have the urge to look closer. Perhaps, on some level, betrayal is always an inside job?

Today, I look back on the relationship that I most recently separated from and I am in awe of the fabrications that operated within my mind... keeping me from seeing clearly. In short, who I wanted this man to be, he was not. And I did everything I could to make him that someone other than who he was. You see, leading up to this relationship, I spent time and energy defining exactly what I wanted... mentally and emotionally constructing an ideal. I was committed to this image in my mind, and when a man came along who offered his heart (and his physical and energetic credentials) to me, I welcomed him with open arms. I was eager to love him as that which I wanted (for I naively believed that his presence alone confirmed that I attracted what I wanted, right?). So when indicators began to emerged from the very beginning that let me know certain somethings were out of integrity between us, I ignored them. I overlooked the times when our values were not in alignment. I overlooked our poor communication. I overlooked the most essential fact that truth was not present enough of the time. And mostly, I overlooked the reality that I was deceiving myself to the bitter end.

To sum up the destruction of our relationship:
I deceived me. Then he deceived me.

From the outside, given the dramatic turn of events and betrayal of trust, it could seem like I am a victim of his choices in the end. Neverthless, as of this moment, I take ownership my many self-deceptions that proceeded his. Each and every moment that I chose to overlook the truth about who this man could really be in my life... each time I re-invented him to live up to my ideal of who he could be - rejecting the truth of the moment - I lied to us both through my love. It was unfair. We could even go so far as to say that I cheated on him long before he stepped out on me (as I consistently made love to someone who existed mostly in my mind). What is staggering to consider, is how many times I reconstructed him... then felt myself as a victim of the pain of my own betrayal.

I know, it sounds a bit extreme. Of course there were ways in which I was extremely present and in love with the truth of him. There were a great many things that I loved - and still love - about him. Primarily, I was enamored by the potential man within him... his unique brilliance intrigued me (as I have been gifted the power to see it in everyone who crosses my path). Yet, as I have learned in my work with clients, me seeing it is not enough. Each person must do the work, for himself or herself, in order to do the sometimes painful untangling of the threads that bind us to habitual responses in order to free the power we have been granted.

To fall in love with who someone has the potential to become, versus who they are in the moment... well, that self-deception I take full responsibility for perpetuating. I suppose we all do this to a certain degree with those we love. Time and intimacy (in-to-me-see) in relationship always reveals the areas in which we need to grow in big and bold ways. That I expected. I know that the mystique that he had surrounding me had to be shadowed by my day-to-day realities and ego-dance. No one is perfect... yet, what I have learned without a doubt in the past few months?... In order for a relationship to work, honesty must be an active agent. And honestly with self comes first. It's the foundation from which all other truths emerge.

So as for betrayal... I do not I take responsibility for his choices in the end. I simply acknowledge that the deceptions that out-pictured in my world with me as the "victim" are but a reflection of an internal reality already present within. So looking into the mirror of my own manifestations I see...

I am no victim of circumstance... I am the image it reflects.

Creation Is An Outside Job
The Potential Within Bears Fruit

From my deepest core, I believe that no matter what decisions we make, our greatest good will eventually find us. So how is that, if we are the creators of our own realities? I am continually humbled by my meager attempts to create my life. At a a time when The Secret and The Law of Attraction are hot topics, I am a student and teacher of metaphysics who says "not quite." Don't get me wrong, I believe in these principles to a certain degree... and they are at work in my life. I have attracted so much of what my heart desires. Yet, it seems that Spirit is offering me an alternate perspective on it all. I can have everything I desire and more.. only to realize that what I want may not be what it is that I am really seeking. And when the best possible reality emerges in my life, it is often a far cry from what I thought I needed. I am but a humble soul, aligning with life itself and allowing creation to find me.

Let's look to nature for clarification, shall we?
Imagine the flower seed who is in charge of its own creation. Is it the seed that attracts the blossom? Or is it that within the seed exists the potential of the blossom? Perhaps the ultimate blossom comes from the seed aligning itself with the elements that most support its creation. These might include: a fertile environment, adequate nourishment, and exposure to light. The seed itself does not create the blossom, it aligns with supportive elements and then surrenders to what nature has in store. And when a storm blows through, destroying the very blossom that the seed had cause to turn into... all is not lost. The wilted and battered flower does not cry out "Woe is me! How could I have brought this destruction into my pasture?!!" On the contrary, there is an understanding in nature that all that is created can not be mono-referrent and self-initiated, as it is an interdependent and systemic organism. And that the potential that exists within the seed must have the grace to fit willingly into the larger picture.

Our place in that wholeness is no different than that of the flower. We align ourselves with the elements that bring about: the most fertile dynamics in relationship to our environment... the conscious nourishment of body, heart, and mind... and exposure to as much illumination and brilliance as possible. In doing so, our potential is ignited and creation happens to us and through us. And we learn to accept how each and every twist and turn shapes us into being. We learn to rely, not on the out-picturing of outcomes, but on the sensations that ignite our potential. THAT is creation happening... the stirring within. And we are actively involved (visualizing and connecting to what moves us is useful, and even more so is the courageousness of doing!), yet we are likewise receptive to looking outside of our ideals about what we think should show up in our lives. We welcome the unexpected visitors that offer us perspective and connection to our less superficial yearnings.

And so, today I am releasing my scripts around how I think life should happen next, and I am focusing on creating connection to the elements that feed me. As for a new creation in the aftermath of the storm? Ah, at this time I can honestly say, I have no romantic agendas or prerequisites in mind for the future. I leave my heart open to the SHiNE that leads me to more magnificence than my mind could ever dream possible. Pictures dissolve, and I am free to love purely again.

I trust that I am exactly where I need to be. In fact, I take it step further. I wouldn't want to be anywhere else than basking in the light of my own self-discovery.

Tags: betrayal, cheating on me, life coaching, relationships, forgiveness

July 2007 - Book of The Month
Radical Acceptance, by Tara Brach, Ph.D.

I am currently reading an insightful book written by Buddhist teacher and scholar, Tara Brach, PhD. It is an compassionate and insightful journey inside the wars we wage within. It is beautifully written, includes supplemental meditations, and is laced with tons of beautiful quotes from teachers of all paths. Tara shares her story as a peek into the discovery of self-acceptance.

Excerpt:

The renowned seventh-century Zen master Seng-tsan taught that true freedom is being "without anxiety about imperfections." This means accepting our human existence and all of life as it is. Imperfection i snot our personal problem - it is a natural part of existing. We all get caught in wants and fears, we all act unconsciously, we all get diseased and deteriorate. When we relax about imperfection, we no longer lose our life moments in the pursuit of being different and in the fear of what is wrong.

D.H. Lawrence described our Western culture as being like a great uprooted tree with its roots in the air. "We are perishing for lack of fulfillment of our greater needs," he wrote, "we are cut off from the great sources of our inward nourishment and renewal." We come alive as we rediscover the truth of our goodness and our natural connectedness to all of life. Our "greater needs" are met in relating lovingly with each other, relating with full presence to each moment, relating to the beauty and pain that is within and around us. As Lawrence said, "We must plant ourselves again in the universe."

More Info

Tags: radical acceptance, tara brach, book review

Cimi 8
White Galactic Worldbridger

I Harmonize in order to equalize
Modeling opportunity
I seal the store of Death
With the galactic tone of Integrity
I am guided by the power of Heart

Above is a variation of a tattoo that I wear at my 2nd chakra... as a symbol to remind me of the medicine that I carry in this life. As with all medicine, we must swallow and learn to ingest that which we are meant to share. And such is the path.

It was 2001 when I first learned of my Mayan Signature (the day that I was born according to the mayan calendar). As soon as I read the above poem describing this archetype, I knew that I was onto something. The more I delved into materials, the more I felt that it described my unique experience of life. Cimi 8 was offering me a tangible power that I could use as a quickening in my life's unfolding. I knew immediately that I would apply this symbol to the energetic center that connects me to this world (just below my navel). I chose to ground my purpose into the flesh.

Now that I am walking my path more visibly (through this SHiNE Blog and events to come), I thought I would share my signature with you... including the poem above and the components that make up the lessons that I am here to learn and share.

(You can likewise reflect on your own path by following the links at the bottom of this posting to decode your own signature and learn more about the mayan calendar).

Color: White
Source of Power

WHITE
Purifiers, shine light into darkness, the light of truth.
Will assist in the calibration of others, and grounding.
Truth, clarity, unification, timelessness, order, spirit.*

This is fascinating to me, as I haven't looked at this detail in years. SHiNE, it says. So much of what white is symbolic of speaks to the core of me. At the time that I got my tattoo, I was learning to navigate much of what is described above. I struggled with truth, with clarity... all that. Over the course of the years, Cimi has taught me the liberation that comes from living in the light. Hence, the passionate commitment to brilliance that I share with you and strive to live in my everyday life.

Tone: Galactic
Creative Contribution

GALACTIC
Model Harmonize Integrity
A model for others, & hold high ideals.
Honesty is essential and integrity is a given.
You are very thorough, and a quick expert.*

To me, walking the talk is crucial. Integrity is everything. My life is meant to be a living model for the ideals that I aspire to. So often, I fall short... yet, I will tell you the truth even then. I ask so much of the people that I am in relationship to. It is no wonder that I have such amazing friendships... and that I have yet to find a man and life partner who aspires to such greatness as me. Ah, but I suppose that I have... the Beloved He that I have met walking along my most recent path.

Tribe: Death
Archetypal Essence

DEATH
Equalize, Opportunity, Death
Tranquility and confidence through spiritual strength.
Adept at applying multidimensional solutions.
Transmutation of paradigms, community oriented.*

I remember being on a beach in Playa Del Carmen, not too long after I got my tattoo. A Mayan man passed by me and pointed to my navel exposed. "Death," he said with a smile as he passed by. I was at first quite startled. And then I realized what he meant... the symbol above with the one-eye closed (Cimi) literally means "death." It was then I really knew that bearing such a symbol meant that I must learn to have peace with all the deaths that make up living. And that I must be willing to die a million times over to reveal the ultimate brilliance that is available to be in this life.

Sometimes, I am not even aware of the force of the light of truth that I bring... as it comes through me without invitation. Recently, someone very close to me commented: "I am afraid of the light that you shine on me." I have been thinking... this may be the best description of death that I have ever heard. Death looks with a penetration that can be painful and downright scary! It casts away shadows to reveal the truth (sometimes tucked away in dark corners within) and dissolves them to the light.

It is not me that does this, but the medicine that moves through me. And I have spent my life making peace with it. There have been times when I felt similar fear towards my own inner witness. Yet, in the end, I am so grateful to be able to dissolve who I am into rebirth again... and again... and again... and again...

In truth, I see my path as an ongoing death. Dying in each moment is what living is really all about. Death of the old, invites the new. I challenge myself to celebrate every death, no matter how painful, as it always reveals new light.

Find Out Your Mayan Signature!

A Mayan Signature will give you information about the creative energies that were active on the day that you were born. Consider it a way to decode aspects of your personal brilliance... with much more revealed than in your sun sign. Due to the complexity of the Mayan calendar, there are 260 possible combinations that come together to make up your Mayan Signature. Check it out... I hope it reveals something to you, as it did for me.

Retrieve the poem for your signature:
http://www.tortuga.com/eng/decode/index.php

More info on your signature (like details on your color, tone, and tribe):
http://www.galactichardwarestore.com/signature_intro_decode.htm
(*this site is the source of the above quoted information)

Tags: cimi 8, white galactic worldbridger, mayan calendar

We just completed Day One of the Level One HoopGirl Teacher Training. I am in San Francisco through the weekend for another 3-day intensive, preparing teachers in the HoopGirl Format. This is the fourth training that I have led with Christabel Zamor (HoopGirl Founder). It is such a joy to train teachers to facilitate and guide others. I am ever so grateful to Christabel for inviting me to be the first Master Trainer to work alongside her. We have such a graceful synergy together. It is a testament to collaboration... and the power that comes from combining energies to serve in the best possible way. I look forward to bringing this training to Portland in September of this year.

Although I am passionate about training in this capacity (as the HoopGirl organization is one I believe in), I know that my experiences leading others in this way is destined preparation for SHiNE Seminars to come. I witness myself light up when I have the opportunity to inspire another individual to recognize his or her unique genius. When I notice that sparkle in the eyes... the one that emerges when a trainee realizes that they do have something to offer... that everything needed to reach his or her ultimate potential exists within... when I see that brilliance reflected in their eyes even for a moment, I know that I am living my purpose.

Certainly, my experience as a somatic educator lends itself to training teachers in a movement modality. Yet, in the past six months, it has become very clear that so much of what I bring to the training environment has to do with my passion for the illumination that can be found in seeking out truth. Truth, to me, is shining a loving light on what is there. And what is there may in fact be changing from moment to moment... yet, the truth speaks only to the moment. It says, "this is what is here now." It says, "I dare to shine light on what is here... and use this awareness to transform my reality from this moment forward." In that way, honoring the truth of our experience in each moment IS what makes transformation possible

As a facilitator, I find that telling the truth is a medicinal art to be delivered with purity... the purest aim: to liberate the light within. We can each learn to tell ourselves the truth about who we are... what matters to us... and how we are keeping ourselves from being the most luminous version of ourselves. When we are able to see with this degree of clarity and an open heart, then awareness dissolves fears and freedom is found.

I look forward to moving SHiNE to a place where we can do this work together. Regardless of your medium of self-expression in life, you have the option to live in dim lit awareness... or bask in the glory of truth and illumination.

Truth says, "ah, there is light in here... let us move towards it."

I look forward to offering the first SHiNE Seminar in the coming months so that we can share the journey with one another. Stay tuned... and let me know if you have areas of interest that might inform the creation of the SHiNE seminar programming. What are your interests as it relates to SHiNE? What fears do you want most to overcome as it relates to living a brilliant life? What stops you from doing more of what you love today? I would love to hear from you! Email me with your ideas and insights...

Tags: truth telling, shine coaching, life coaching

Tonight was the first session in the HoopSHiNE BODY class series. The intention of this new offering is to integrate the various facets of my work. Hoop... an avenue for learning about the nature of energy in and around us. SHiNE... my passion for assisting others in activating their unique genius. And BODY... the vehicle that is our most powerful ally in vesseling our brilliance through this world in which we live.

In short, we learn to use the Hoop - the master teacher of energetic flow - to activate the SHiNE BODY. The SHiNE BODY is a high resonance sensation from which ultimate joy and creativity can emerge.

Tonight our focus was Presence. We established our anchors to ground us in Presence as a sensation. Our physical anchors included breath and the sensation of touch. We used these tools to then harness the mind, tying it to the present via the now moment. I consider the now moment to be the key to unlocking the potential in our hoop practice. The nature of the hoop is that it relies on our connection to now. It is through continual presence with the now (via contact points) that the hoop knows harmony. When we disconnect - and are no longer Present - the hoop lets us know. It falls. And we learn to smile down as we pick up the hoop with a grateful heart. Thank you for reminding me to be present, we say. Your love for me is real.

If only this degree of truth were present in each and every relationship in our lives. What clarity! The good news is... the hoop is here to show you the way to doing just that.

That's why they call it practice.

SHiNE On!

Tags: hoopshine, hoopshine body

My apologize for the singular focus of late. I have shared much in this blog, as my feminine has been guiding the journey of awakening through a transitioning with another. I have practiced bringing peace, heart space, and understanding to myself and my relationship. And, it seems that recent embodiment of radiant feminine love has caught the interest of someone who sees my potential... who showers me with the potent force of his integrity and commitment to serve my highest good.

Today, I was swept off my feet into the arms of love. I fell into the embrace of a exceptionally powerful lover that sees me as the sacred gift that I am. This Beloved He pulled me close to him with such a force, it took my breath away! His aim, he said... to protect me from myself. I have attracted the masculine love of my dreams... and it comes from within. It is a love that dares my divine feminine to accept nothing less than its equal. The Beloved She within me (radiant love) has met, enchanted, and wed The Beloved He within me (trusted direction). I am the child reborn of their union.

It happened when I caught myself - quite literally - looking around the space of my life, once again asking the question: Why am I not being cherished and honored as the sacred gift that I am?

I know that our physical world is but a reflection of our inner reality. And so... I turned the mirror inward. I called a dear friend by phone who always delivers the truth. This elder woman was a tour guide on a journey within my own energetic field and its recent consequences. The results of my recent actions was undeniable. I have spent tremendous energy taking care of my partner, of the relationship, and of outer circumstances. Yet who was taking care of me?

It was then that a masculine force within swept me up in a proclamation:
"It is you who does not honor your beauty. It is you who must cherish you. It is you that must enter a sacred covenant without exception. And it is I who will show you how."

The Beloved He immediately began to guide me from within to take steps to nurture myself... drawing healthy boundaries around my body, my heart, and my physical space. With commitment and diligent understanding, He stands nearby as I tenderly landscape the perimeters of the sacred temple that is me. I am choosing to entertain thoughts, actions, and relationships that greet my heart with reverence. And through the gates of my self-love, only energies that meet the highest standards of love shall pass.

Thank you to Kali Rose for an illuminating reading today that shed light on my path. Thank you to Gail - my soul sister of truth - who reminded me what it is to love myself through my choices. And thank you to The Beloved He who embraced me with the force of the love that I deserve, so that I might claim it now.

Tags: the beloved, relationships, life coaching

Dialogues with Brilliance - My Own
How I Became A SHiNE Coach

For years I have been carrying on conversations with a voice that speaks through me. Inspired by the courageous wonder of inspired writers such as Neale Donald Walsh, I dared one day to use my journal to ask a Higher Voice for answers. Since then, guidance arrives with greater and greater clarity. Now it is quite effortless to connect to insights in this way. I only need begin the dialogue, and something else takes over.

And so my method of prayer is in written meditation. I sit quietly with my journal and spill forth. At times, I ask specifically for guidance. Other times I am interrupted by it. My pen then moves across the page, carrying a wisdom that far exceeds my own. Over the years, insights revealed in these exchanges have brought me tremendous clarity in times of crisis... complete peace in the midst of total chaos... and the light of hope in the black holes of depression. And the availability of this voice is without condition. It responds equally to cries of joyous passion and moments of bitter desperation.

It is an experience that I have kept private until about a year ago when I shared it in a close circle of friends. Part of the secrecy is that I didn't want my experience to be misconstrued as some mystical, out-of-body experience. To say that, through pen and paper, I have access to information outside of my own knowing - as if from a voice that is not my own - it may sound like I claim to be hosting a channelled entity. Perhaps it is of me, perhaps not. I may never know for sure. Yet, when it happens, my mind and body are in a total state of me-ness. I am not overtaken by anything but a Silence that reveals one word after the next in a seamless flow of perfect insight. I am very much present when this clarity emerges. It's like talking to a trusted guide from within who is able to deliver the truth of the moment without hesitation.

In fact, I learned HOW to become an agent of inspiration (a life coach passionate about bringing out the brilliance in others) through these dialogues. This objective, yet heart-centered and loving voice is a trusted vehicle for each and every interaction that I have with a client. And more and more in my practice, I work in conjunction with this Inner SHiNE Agent to deliver insights when I could not possibly manufacture them in the moment.

I know the most powerful medicine is emerging when I open my mouth to speak, having no idea what I am about to say. This is why I am the student and the guide. SHiNE teaches me, through me. Often, the words I hear come forth as I speak to others are exactly the perspective that I have been needing in my own life. My own hunger is satiated through guiding others.

Dialogues with Brilliance - Yours
Becoming Your Own SHiNE Coach

It is my belief that we all have access to brilliant wisdom from within, at all times. So why don't so many of us hear it? I see two things that act as a buffer to detecting the sound of this voice from within:

One obstacle is the belief that an omniscient force could not possibly interact with us so intimately. Regardless of your spiritual or religious beliefs, I invite you to entertain the idea that you are worth talking to - it's just a matter of how you frame it. If you feel lost and you ask a question that seems so far out of the scope of your understanding, and suddenly the insight emerges from thin air (onto paper or into your heart)... that is brilliance showing itself to you. So what is happening?... From where does this illumination emerge? Is a literal force - we might call it "God" - speaking through you? Is it a Spirit Guide or other force outside you that you are hearing? Is it you, your Higher Self, offering dictation? Or is it just your own mind playing tricks on you, in an effort to make you feel better?

I say... who really cares?! DO you feel better? ARE you more inspired to move through life with a more positive and constructive attitude as a result of these insights? Then, go for it. Why should a healthy dose of skepticism (or the fact that you aren't sure why or how it's happening) keep you from benefiting? You can call it divine guidance... you can call it your hidden genius ... or you can call your therapist! Just realize that you don't have to know how it works to put it to good use.

The second obstacle to hearing is not listening! In order to listen, we simply must be quiet enough to hear. The mind can be over-active, especially in times of confusion or depression. The ability to pause in the potent space of Silence can be the key to receiving insight. Stilling the inner dialogue long enough to penetrate the space just beneath it. This takes practice. I personally find writing a powerful means to the development of silence within. Spilling the energy that bounces around the mind can be just the liberation that is needed to create space for greater insights.

Another method is awakening the senses. Often your Inner Wisdom will speak to you through your environment and/or relationships with others. Are you paying attention? Did you see the book calling out to you to read it? Did you sign up for the class? Did you take the walk in the forest and listen to the trees and the message that they have for you?... The avenues through which illumination can travel are infinite.

Begin The Dialogue Now
Journaling for Illumination

Practice with me. Take out a piece of paper now. Ask the questions that you most long to know the answers to... and dictate the unexpected reply. Purge the pain that you most desire to be free of... and be soothed by the light of perspective that lies just beneath. Be patient if the voice isn't ready. It will come, when you are ready and able to receive its gifts.

I will begin to share some of these dialogues with you throughout this blog. Keep in mind, I have spent much time investing in private communion with this voice prior to revealing it. I suggest that you do the same... get to know your own Inner Wisdom intimately before sharing it with others. Intimacy lends to potency in any relationship.

Examples to serve as inspiration coming soon. Stay tuned!

Tags: journaling, shine coaching, life coaching

Needing The One

My Love and I came together in a hungriness. We spent one fateful day together intoxicated by the idea of one another. As soon as our eyes locked we were staring at a vision of a life together. Only a day later, words of promise were implied in bold statements: "finally I found you"... "you are The One that I have been waiting for". The sudden buzz of such encounters left us both smitten and certain that we were the luckiest two people on the planet. In short, we were immediately convinced that the sensation of our own divinity (our SHiNE) simply had to be invested in one another... for that was what finding The One meant, right?

Now I am not one to entertain such musings lightly. I caution my clients to take care not to confuse the true Source of illumination with the vehicle through which it presents itself. Yet, I was a romatically-inclined woman hungry for connection. It had been three years since my last relationship. I knew in my heart that I wanted (and could have) a love of such depth and intensity as to spend a life together; nevertheless, I had no idea what that might look like in its healthiest form. My time spent in solitude was a preparation of sorts - undoing old ways of being with the determination to do relationship differently next time. I had even created a vision (on paper) of who I thought this man whom I would devote my heart to might be like. When he showed up, I was immediately sold by an energetic resume that aligned with my idea of the him-ness that would best suit me.

Not to mention, his words were intoxicating. I was his destiny! I was enamored by the idea that someone could feel such things about me. In my expressions of fear (that I wasn't sure I could say the same of him yet), he became ever-more confident in our union. He would meet my fears with the light touch of his conviction... and I would become immediately his again. As Deida put it so eloquently (see Part 1): "[his] adoration and neediness assuaged my fear and buoyed my self-sense." And, in turn, "my insecurity and neediness made [him] feel more secure in [his] ownership of [me]." At times, I was acutely aware of this dynamic. Yet even when I felt concern that our destined union was slightly laced with co-dependent landmines, I pushed it aside as fear of commitment. I was needed... and so I gave more of myself to us.

In essence, I see I was inadvertently attempting to realize my self-worth through another.

No Longer Needing The One

So I entered whole-heartedly... or so I thought. In truth, I was in a state of hopeful cynicism at best. I always felt there was a suspicious energy continually lurking in the shadows. As if somehow we were setting ourselves up for its unexpected emergence.

That inevitable revelation came in a painful realization...
We were not an energy invincible.

We shared more and more of our lives with one another, and eventually fell into a mundane existence where the intoxication that once unified us gave way to sobriety. And in the most unexpected turn of events, I suddenly discovered that my Love had drifted away from me towards the intoxicating Love of another. And, due to the impossible expectations that we had placed upon one other, we were unable to survive. For to believe that someone is The One for whom your love is destined is to believe that it could not possibly have cause to venture elsewhere. And so when that love leaks out - and there is a new source of fixation - inevitable confusion arises for all parties involved. The lovers are left wondering, "Could I be mistaken that he/she/the other is The One?"

I suppose it all depends on how we define The One. When we no longer feel the urgent and intoxicating NEED for someone... could they still be The One to whom our heart is called? When the hunger is no longer what is urging our heart towards communion, what else are we left with?

Love.

Love ultimately reveals The One to us. When all that I need from you dissolves into all that I have to offer in love with you... ultimate expression of Oneness is found. For it may in fact be that needing someone is just the opposite of loving them.


Loving The One

For me, I have determined that The One is a choice - a set of actions that say... now that I no longer need you, I choose to love you. And Love of The One says, I will love you even in this.

I have discovered - as this relationship is ending - that even in the face of a future that looks nothing like ever-after, I can only know The One in the moment. And so, he is The One. He is The One who will prepare my heart in redefining One-ness forever.

Thus...
The One is He whom my heart is open to without need to be filled...
And The One whom I love even when he no longer needs me to.

I am committed to treating this relationship with a new reverence. We once worshipped one another as The One (for the sense of promise we offered). Now, even in our pending separation, I still choose to worship my lover as The One... until death do us part. The One whom my heart is devoted to in loving... no longer in needing. And in surrendering my need, I can witness our death (be it on the horizon) without the hunger to salvage what I cannot in good faith make right on my own.

I don't need to. For The One happens through me... and another one will reveal himself to me. And I will say with confidence and conviction, "You are The One - for at the moment that needing dissolves into loving, true Oneness is found."

Tags: relationships, losing love, falling in love, the one, david deida, needing someone

In the midst of making love, she began to speak to me. "I love you. I am yours forever. Nothing can break us apart." In that moment, it was true. We were love, and we were forever. Nothing could break us apart, since we were as one. But I could also feel her emotional need. I could feel her desire for security creeping in around the edges. Her confession was true enough, but it was tinged by hope. And beneath the hope of forever, lurked the fear of loss - in her and in me.

I wanted so badly to wallow in her confession of love. I wanted to feel that she was mine. That she had given herself to me for good. And, although this was true enough in the moment, similar things had been spoken before, and forever didn't last. As a confession of love in the moment, it was true and beautiful. But as a hope, it was a lie. We did not own each other, and never would. Our loving was as fragile as our personal fears were strong. it would take only a hurtful moment of emotional collapse and we would be broken apart. Maybe just for a few hours or days. Maybe for good.

In that moment of our lovemaking I could feel both truths. The truth that we had given ourselves to each other as a love eternal. And also the truth that we could leave each other in any moment, due to emotional closure or meeting a better intimate partner, in the inevitable event of death, or simply because we were distracted by a fresh piece of ass or chocolate cake.

Surrendering to the truth of our love was blissful. Mixed in with that love, though, was the need to assure ourselves that it would last. True love was mixed with fear. Looking into her eyes and feeling into her body, I began to sense that we were drifting more toward the need for security. We were beginning to grasp onto the emotional need for feeling love, that than surrendering into the open gesture of being and giving love.

I practiced to recognize my own need for her, and, to the best of my ability, I felt through my neediness. Even though a part of me wanted to own her forever, this part of me was really formed by fear. Her adoration and neediness assuaged my fear and buoyed my self-sense. Her insecurity and neediness made me feel more secure in my ownership of her. This dynamic wasn't love - it was emotional bondage.

By recognizing and feeling through this neediness, even as we were both beginning to slide into it, I rediscovered, magnified, and surrendered to the force of real love. Without saying a word, my authentic presence in love began to resonate her from sentimental need to deep-hearted devotion.

Her devotion was not to me as a separate person but to the love that we opened ourselves to through our relationship. Our attention shifted from the hope of a future together to the present depth of love that is always the truth of our very being, intuited in our deep heart.

- David Deida, Finding God Through Sex

Had I read this even three weeks ago, it would have seemed insightful yet of minimal relevance to my life. Now it resonates as a tone at the very heart of me as a woman in a loving relationship without hope for a future.

I am now an alchemist in love. I am learning, through practice, to transform neediness into loving communion. I now drink from a shared altar of physical communion where I am offering love for the sake of giving it... no longer invested in who or what might be in it for me.

My heart is being lovingly stripped of a habitual seductions born of adolescence... the seduction to offer (or withhold) sex, as if it is a commodity in relationship. Instead I am learning to gift myself the purity of loving (and love-making)... without the hidden agendas and need to control.

I am embodying what it is to love unconditionally.
I am learning to give love without need for it.
I am learning to receive love without need of me in return.

From time-to-time, old habits surface. The desire to punish - or withhold love - pushes its way to the forefront of my psyche. My heart plays the part of the victim. And then the illumination returns to me... ever-brighter:

I am love discovering itself. Through the loss of love as a promise, I have encounters with love as unconditional. I can lose myself in love by becoming attached to it. Or, I can loose myself in love by becoming an expression of its bounty.

Tags: david deida, finding god through sex

July 2007


This being human is a guest house.
Every morning a new arrival.

A joy, a depression, a meanness.
Some momentary awareness
comes as an unexpected visitor.

Welcome and entertain them all!...

The dark thought, the shame, the malice,
meet them at the door laughing,
and invite them in.

Be grateful for whoever comes,
because each has been sent
as a guide from beyond

- Rumi

The past month has been rich with opportunities for me. Aspects of my life have been plucked up by the root, tearing into the soils of my heart and mind. Yet my practice is gratitude. I have learned what it is to truly navigate the path that I preach. I am experiencing pain without strife... separation without judgment... and the abyss of the unknown without fear. I have been guided indeed... to bear witness to how far I have come, and to spiral ever-higher in my awareness and abilities to be present and loving.

I want to thank each one of you whom has been a witness to me - as I have shared much of my personal journey on The SHiNE Blog in hopes that my daily illuminations might shed some light on your path. Remember, you can set up RSS Feed to any blog, to stay up-to-date on postings that inspire and inform.

May your summer be filled with the brilliance that feeds you on every level. Please contact me if you feel called to SHiNE among others, or in a one-on-one coaching session.

I am pleased to announce that I will be bringing back the Sensation Matters focus group (aka: A SHiNE Circle), Thursday evenings mid-August. This is an opportunity for you to experience the power of spirit-based group coaching to activate your brilliance this fall. Hope to see you!

SHiNE On,
Candice

It's been less than three hours since my last post. Nevertheless, I feel called to reach out once again. It was as if writing about The Beloved immediately penetrated my heart... blasting me apart with Its force.

I felt grounded and composed after I wrote. Yet only minutes later, while in the shower, I was suddenly bombarded by a surge of energy in my body. My mind was having its way with me, taking me on many unhealthy journeys of the imagination. Suddenly, I was emotionally charged... not feeling too good, mind you. I got out of the shower, only to realize that I was quite late for an appointment with my herbalist and healer.

I rushed out of the house... wet-headed and anxious... to meet him. When I arrived, I was in an overwhelming state of suffering. The Beloved had indeed entered my heart... and in doing so it pushed emotional buffers to the surface. It was forced surrender... I was miserable in my vulnerability... raw and humble with an open wound visible for all to see. And this kind and compassionate man... Kyle Cline, who is a healer in every sense of the word... took my pulse, noted the tension, then held space for my release. His primary prescription... a hug.

I cried. I sobbed. And I choked on my own breath. I purged the emotion that strangled me... and tore down a stoic facade. I felt healing happen. He kept telling me how great I was doing... and reminding me of who I am.

He didn't allow me to stuff it. When I thought I was done, he would look into my eyes... and invite the truth. It still hurt, and I needed to cry through to the other side of the pain.

And only ten minutes later, Kyle checked my pulses... and my heartbeat had found its peaceful flow once more. ALL of this... the bounty of release... I am grateful for. The dams that burst forth inside my heart were there to hold in the pain. The Beloved had entered and blew them down as though they were just a measureless piece of the wind itself. (And it was my willingness to let the breezes whip through without the need to personalize or understand that enabled true release to happen. For how can we release something that we are holding onto via a story within?)

I share all of this as a reminder to us all. When The Beloved is invited, It enters. It will do what is needed to liberate the heart that longs for Its undivided attention.

And so at times, illumination can feel like a light so piercing that it brings us to our knees, wincing in pain. Nevertheless, when our eyes do eventually re-adjust to the light, we look around to find ourself resting in the center - just as the little "i" relates to unleashing SHiNE - and the pain is remembered as a flood of grace that left the landscapes of our heart ever-changed.

Through releasing my pain, I am washed clean.

Tags: the beloved, healing, heartbreak

I write to you in a moment of naked atonement (at-one-ment)... a moment of forgiving myself for the feelings of jealousy and insecurity that seduced a a suddenly barren heart into delusion.

In his book, Intimate Communion, David Deida calls it The Him-Shaped Void. It is the imprint left in the heart of a woman, reflecting the shape of the last one with whom she shared the union of her open heart and body.

It explains so much. It explains why, even when we know that the choice to separate from a relationship is the best thing for us, a part of us still hangs on defiantly. The heart cries, out... "give me the him-ness" to fill that space inside that yearns to be full again.

It took me years of defiance to realize that to love another with an open heart is not weakness at all. It is simply the heart of me seeking to partner in its strength and brilliance... and nature's way of making sure that I have intimacy in my life. And intimacy (in-to-me-see) is the mirror of truth; that is if we choose to look ourselves square in the face.

As life shifts, and the Him-Shape Void becomes apparent, we are vulnerable in the best possible way. There is a door open to another energy that can engulf us in a way that an imprint cannot match... the energy of The Beloved. Who is the beloved? Is it that perfect lover whom will ignite us to the core? Some might say yes. Although, I prefer to believe that our lover is a carefully-chosen companion in a unified mission... reaching out to reveal The Beloved as it can be experienced in the flesh.

I speak of The Beloved as it is viewed in Sufism - the Ultimate Beloved. It is when we approach union on a grander scale. We seek not to fall in love (and be filled with love) but to fall in love with Love as that space in which we are the filler. It envelopes us, and we spend our lives (in and out of relationships) learning how to let Love move in, as, and through us.

"The Beloved is all, the lover just a veil.
The Beloved is living, the lover a dead thing.
If Love witholds its strengthening care,
The lover is left like a bird without wings.
How will I be awake and aware
If the light of the Beloved is absent?
Love wills that this Word be brought forth.
If you find the mirror of the heart dull,
The rust has not been cleared from its face."
.........Rumi (Mathnawi Book 1, 34)

In my recent experience, The Him-Shape Void adapts upon becoming vacated. The lover is given the blessed gift of being left alone to create a miracle within her own heart. She uses emptiness as a welcome contrast to connect to an abyss-like rapture always available to her. She is penetrated by a force that exceeds the potentials of the flesh. She is occupied by The Beloved - by Love Itself.

From here, yes... this is the place from which I want to love. I hereby profess my love for The Beloved and immerse my heart in its spaciousness. I am swallowed whole by Love, and revealed completely vulnerable. I am not vulnerable to the actions and choices of others (which I cannot control). I am instead vulnerable in my total surrender to The Beloved's sacred commitment to me... When your heart growls with hunger, it is then that I am there. Find me by sending Love forth, pushing It through the resistance to unleash My Presence unto you.

Does this mean that I am to be without lovers in the flesh? Oh, certainly it does not. It means that I do my best to create an atmosphere in and around my heart that seeks not the fullness of another... but one that reflects the bounty of us both. I become a mirror of the most-infinite and most-pure depths by entering the covenant of The Beloved. I then offer that bounty to the lover of my choice.

I want to participate in the Highest Love. My horoscope this week reads: "Always focus more intensely on the pleasure of giving the beautiful love you have to offer than on your hunger for the love you have always wanted to get."

The Beloved impregnates my heart so that I am no longer hungry. My feast is found within.

Tags: intimate communion, him-shaped void, the beloved

"Ever has it been that love knows not its own depth
until the hour of separation."
Kahlil Gibran

As a facilitator of brilliance in others, I have found that sharing my path is always relevant. For a time I thought that I must keep my reality under lock and key... not revealing my personal journey publicly. To do so would mean certain vulnerability. Through my work unleashing my own SHiNE, I have realized that hiding is a narcissistic pursuit, and a presumption that I must be kept safe from potential humiliation.

Humiliation... perhaps it's really nothing to fear at all.

Humility is among the most powerful allies on my journey. And my process of self-discovery IS the medicine that I am meant to dispense. (I believe the same is true for you.) So to bare my soul's deepest yearnings and vulnerabilities is to walk the path of brilliance for me.

The image above so perfectly reflects the space of my heart right now. A tearing open to reveal new light... and the insights born of death. The most intimate relationship in my life to-date is ending. My lover/companion and I shared a short-lived but deeply-felt love for one another. And as I write, we currently share a home, a bed, and a life together. Nevertheless, we have been initiated by circumstance to let one another go...

It has been a tremendous blessing to love... and to lose. I welcome the pain, for beneath it lies the potential for more joy. Perhaps it is not that the heart breaks when love is threatened, but instead that it breaks open... revealing blessings and truths that can be used to transform the ways in which we love ourselves and one another.

If indeed our partnerships in life act as Divine Mirrors so that we might see ourselves better, may we be willing to stare the truth in the face with fearless curiosity. May we see how we are reflected in the choices of those whom reside in and around our heart. And may we seize the power to love under any circumstance.

What brought an end to my relationship was painful to be sure; yet, I know better than to cast myself a victim in a drama that I helped to create. And I am learning to let go of self-righteous towards what I perceive to be the mistakes of others. I receive the love that I am ready for in each moment... and anything less, well, I must look within to find the strength to reflect love where it is lacking.

For the past ten days, I have felt the pain of a broken heart. Ironically, the Love that I now offer - ever since pain tore into me - is an enlightened evolution of the love that I thought was sufficient up until now. I am cracked wider than ever before, and I am filled with gratitude for the pain that burrowed into the core of my potential. I now have the opportunity to love in a manner that transcends personal gain, self-gratification, and attachment to outcome... or even hope of reciprocity.

This recent journey is teaching me what it is to bask in the brilliance of the Feminine. In moments of weakness I discover the Strength and Power of what it is to be a woman. I take my heart that has been broken... blasted wide open... and I treat it as an altar. Each day, my practice is to embrace humiliation (the brilliant gift of forced humility) and prostrate repeatedly before my tender, open heart. And it speaks back to me in a message of grace, like a whisper within...

She says to me...

"Neither hunger for love nor withhold your own.
My sweet, dare to be love itself!"

Thanks for bearing my heart witness.

Yours Bursting Open,
Candice

Tags: love, heartbreak, humility, cheating on me, open heart, life coaching

kNew eyes
In a posting entitled; reaming with Eyes Open">Dreaming With Eyes Open, I shared a recurrent dream that I have been having recently. One where I am stuck inside of a dream... yet conscious and aware of my sleeping state. Wide awake in my subconscious, yet my eyes locked shut to the world around me. I struggle to open my eyes, and they will not obey. I have to wait in the darkness until they say it's time. Upon reflecting on this dream, I have waited to know what it is that I have my eyes closed to. What reality am I not willing to see?

My eyes are finally opening to the light.

You see, this weekend, I experienced a death. Not a death of the literal sense, but a death to a belief, a way of seeing, and a subsequent reality. There was a moment when life delivered me a message that shook me... quite literally. An aspect of my existence that I had begun to take for granted dissolved before my eyes in only a moment. And everything was seen to through knew eyes.

When I received the revelation of a knew and unexpected truth, I became immediately aware that I was experiencing something that conflicted with everything that I had constructed as true in my body and mind. I witnessed as my mental and emotional grids began to break down, and my body shook with a cellular fever. I was asked in a moment to accept something that led to the immediate deconstruction of a set of beliefs, and subsequent reality. And as such, my body (my molecular reality) was experiencing a quickening. It had to catch up. As my body assimilated the news it shook uncontrollably. And my mind immediately began to do its job... rebuilding structures to support this knewness... and, due to the sheer scope of the job, it became awkwardly stuck in its inability to restore balance so quickly. As a result, the wisdom of my being took over and shock kicked in... protecting me from processing, and leaving my energy body free to work in its own time.

The details of the drama that led to this transmutation within are unimportant. It is the lesson of any healing crisis is to experience a reality devastated. If the knew reality is sickness... health is the reality that has been devastated. If the knew reality is divorce... the reality of companionship is dissolving. Whatever the case, the body-mind is challenged in all that it holds true.

What fascinates me is the ease that emerges in the face of trauma when a reality is allowed to dissolve, without the added stress to the body and mind to reinvent itself in that instance. In short, destruction is allowed, unfettered by the need to create anew in that moment. The only reality that is known is that in the moment. I have found in the past week when I allow the moment to be the only foundation of my knowing... my being can recreate itself again and again, gracefully in each moment. And the ego attachment to the dramas of devastation no longer rein over the situation.

The Spider Mind
What also comes up for me is the vulnerability of what the mind learns to lean one. Belief is a series of thoughts that create a mental grid... a web that the mind can stick things to. But what happens when a knew reality emerges. One that busts through and deconstructs the grid - much like inadvertantly walking through the tedious artfulness of the spider's web. The grid that was once strong enough to hold on (conveniently bridging the past to the present)... is suddenly revealed in its vulnerability with forcefulness. Like the spider's web, our mental grids (or realities) have the strength to brave a swift and easy breeze. Yet when a strong wind sweeps through, the web is deconstructed immediately. And yet what do our spider-minds typically do? Their job. They learn to weave again. The mind does anything in its power to gather up new thoughts and beliefs that fit together well enough to recreate an equally vulnerable reality.

And that spider-mind creation... a knew reality... it reverberates to bring things into being. When a spider weaves its web, it waits for prey to attach to it. This attachment (or catch) creates a vibration that the spider learns to recognize. Each catch feeds the spider to generate more web space in the future. The mind is similar in some regards. When a thought resonates with a reality that we have already constructed, it sticks in our mind and creates a vibration. Each vibration feeds that grid of belief... and, as a result, a reality is trusted as it is confirmed through experience. The trouble is, the mind preys on that which will cause the grid to vibrate, affirming itself.

Thoughts such as "I am not enough."... "No one will love me"... or "I don't believe I can do it" work together to create the grid of not being worthy. The mind seeks to feed that grid, preying on perspectives that will stick to the construct. Thus, experiences, people, and circumstances that support thinking in such a way are attracted. And - more often than not - an otherwise neutral reality is tainted by the lens of the mental grids already in place.

So how do we see more clearly?
We make peace with the mind by becoming clear about its unique brilliance as well as where it falls short. Let us be clear that peace of mind is not defined as passive acceptance, inaction, or inertia. Peace is a dynamic process. Peace, as Mahatma Gandhi taught us, is proactive and diligent in its integrity. Peace of mind is a non-violent way of bearing witness, one where we neither accept the status quo passively nor aggressively fight against it.

Letting kNew Light In
Oftentimes, when a way of thinking and being in our world needs to shift, we miss the subtle cues. We get stuck dancing frantically with our shadows, ignoring the light at our backs. In such cases, unhealthy grids are functioning in our lives, but in our unawareness we don't see them until they are destroyed by the sheer force of sudden change, forcing us to turn around (aka: turn within) and take notice. At that moment we can see the grid with brilliance and clarity. That is, if we are willing.

The infinite SHiNE of our spirit is like a sun that is constant shedding an endless and accessible source of awareness from deep within. And I know from experience, when we are not able to connect to that light, it WILL one day connect to us. Like the Earth turning on its axis, the passage of time will operate in such a way that our grids will inevitably be revealed to us. The real question is, are we willing to allow the light to dissolve webs of what was once knew?

I am honored by my recent challenges, as I have been dared by my circumstances to discover the peace of the Unknown... and the glory of SHiNE. SHiNE is a choice to connect to brilliance no matter what... and as a sensation, it can only be found in the moment. Now that is true knowledge, if you ask me.

Tags: spider mind, Awakening, shadows, metaphysics

On Sunday, I had the extreme pleasure of attending a workshop with Jonathon Baxter. He is a hooper who has taken his teaching to a place that far transcends the medium. I am so drawn to the work he calls The Hoop Path as it reaches in and touches the warrior within my body and soul.

Attending this event illuminated something within my heart and mind. I have been feeling a sense of ambivalence towards my teaching in the hoop recently. There is so much that I love about sharing the joy of the hoop with others; yet, I have felt a hunger inside of me to approach the work from a more conscious place. To truly begin to share how hoopdance can be about so much more than hoop tricks and self-expression. The hoop is a messenger of so much wisdom. It teaches me about what it is to be in relationship, how yin and yang merge to create harmony, and the rare of gifts of truth and humility found each time the hoop falls. Hooping is a practice. I know this... and Baxter helped me to remember that it is possible to share this work from a deeper place.

And so, I am ever-more inspired to co-create and develop HoopSHiNE BODY with the community of hoopers in Portland. So much is unknown about this class series, coming up July 9th. Nevertheless, I am committed to creating a space where each hooper walks away a visceral experience of the harmony and wisdom that the hoop imparts... in the body, and in relationship to self.

More on this as the vision develops...

Tags: hoop path

If you don't know already, there is this amazing technology called: RSS feed. 
You can go to any blog online and make it a part of your everyday. 

If you are interested, here's how to do it...

Activating RSS Feed:

1) Go to the blog of your choice. For example, mine can be found at: 
http://www.candiceschutter.com/blog/blog.html If you are reading this, you are likely there already.

2) Look up in the navigation box, to the right of the web address. You will see a blue box that says: "RSS". Click on it.

3) This will pull up a summary page for the blog. Add that page to your bookmark toolbar. 

From that point forward, you will see a notification on your toolbar each time there is a new posting. 
ie: my blog bookmark would read "SHiNE Blog"... and would show up as: "SHiNE Blog (1)" in the event of a new posting. It works like an blog inbox on your home page! Upon the suggestion of a technically-savvy friend, I now have a folder called "RSS"... with contains bookmarks for a variety of sites that I enjoy reading blog postings for. The folder tells me when there are any new postings on my favorite blogs.

That's it. Just wanted to let you all it on it. 
And I would love to hear from you whenever you feel moved to comment.

If you don't have a blog of your own... consider it! It's a wonderful way to take your journaling to the next level... and dare to shine your brilliance to a broader audience.

Thanks for peeking into my world,
Candice

Tonight I danced in the shadows....

The details of the interaction that led up to it are unimportant... as always, the story only serves to reveal the inner dramas still stirring. An interaction triggered a subtle darkness within... and the inner dialogue which slow crept forth led me to tears. And to an unexpected late night communion.

I am grateful for fear. It is a rare friend in that it alone has the power to bring me to my knees. Quite literally.
Tonight it brought me to my knees in thePortal... first in despair... then in prayer... and finally I kneel in truth through these words in service to you.

You see, I teach in order to learn. I have found that there is no greater motivation for teaching than self-inquiry. Most of the things that come forth through me I do not claim to be a master of. Far from it. I receive through the voice that is mine so that I might learn to listen. Live your brilliance, I say to those around me. Trust in your unique genius... and in its inherent grace. Embrace humility courageously - enough to surrender your path while you SHiNE your light boldly forth... knowing that you are but a vessel for the evolution of a species...

All these things I say to you.
Yet still, I am afraid.
And the louder my voice gets, the more afraid I become of the message that screams from my every cell.

SHiNE teaches me too. This could be more accurately said:
SHiNE teaches me to.
(Read that closely. It's a small, but deeply relevant distinction in language.)

I have many inspirations throughout each day that I could share with you as blog postings. Yet, I find any excuse not to. This or that idea is too undeveloped... those old journal entries are too much to mess with... there is not time in the day... or, sometimes my excuse is immediately transparent with truth: what if I have no idea what I am talking about... what then? It's better not to take such a chance, yes?

You see, but none of this is about the value of my blog postings, the book I want to write, or any objective I might point to. It's about me believing in myself. It's about knowing that, in the end, my choice to share my brilliance (aka: my way of being in the world) has nothing to do with being good enough for you, for me, or for anyone else. It has everything to do with latching on to the inspirations that strike my heart and mind and riding them to a place that transcends the good opinion of others. How can it be authentic and pure when it is first weighed on the scales of who will and will not agree... like it... or pay good money? Not the point, you see. All brilliance exists in order to shed light so that others might see better. What they feel about what they do or do not see is not the point of the light that we shine... we share perspectives not to seek validation, but in order that we all might become more clear. And we learn to be okay with the fact that clarity has infinite interpretations.

And so as I rested on the earth in prostration tonight, I realized via my body's choice of posture... SHiNE is a way of being that invites communion at the innermost altar. It is being and doing in a manner that confirms the true expression of who I really am in my highest expression of self... that which I source from within. To truly live with such a passion for self-integrity at all costs requires courage. And courage means moving forward in spite of fear. Movement must exist... and movement along the path of self-actualization causes fear to rise to the surface, revealing more of me. In this way, fear becomes an ally to let us know that we are honoring the nudge from within. In fact, fear should never be hidden. It is meant to be called by name and dispelled through action. I believe that fear is just a buffer that exists between unexpressed brilliance and the outside world. And thus, it must move in order that you might do the same.

And so tonight, I make peace. I am grateful for my fear... as it always leads to the shadowy spaces within.

And those shadows... seductive in their story-telling though they might seem... well, they are nothing more than a signal that there is light present somewhere nearby. You only need shift your gaze slightly to see that which stands between the brilliance and that darkness reflected on the other side. What is in the way of the light is you... it is only ever you. And that's the good news. Ah yes, that is very good news indeed.

Tags: shine coaching, life coaching, humility, grace

Today was the first day of Daniel's Taiji/Qigong series here at thePortal. It was such a joy for me to see him - my soul partner and day-to-day companion - sharing his brilliance with us. His teaching style is so different from my own, offering me an avenue to grow and observe a new way of facilitation that I have much to learn from.

It has been over three years since I studied an energy art. There was a time when I practiced qigong daily... and I had a reservoir of power inside of me that supported me in all else. It was an ideal combination. I didn't realize at the time that my Nia practice was rooted by my study of martial arts and inner traditions.

Even when I walked away from my energy practice, the power that I had cultivated stayed with me for a good year or so before I noticed a slowly developing shift in my way of being. Suddenly, I suffered from a paradox of desire. I yearned for stillness more and more; yet my body craved movement when it went without. The dancer in me waged a war with the subtle intelligence of my spirit that said something about what I was doing was not grounded and nurturing to my longevity. I did what I could to bring the purity of the principles and foundations of all that I had learned into my Nia practice... and was successful in some regards. Nevertheless, an emptiness still began to develop within. Most notably, my roots became noticeably more shallow over time. I lost center more often... and my mind began to reign over my reality again, returned to something resembling its once unbroken state.

I managed all of these things using the tools I developed in my path through Nia - the principles and practice of my belts offered me numerous tactics to work with these shifts. Nevertheless, it seems that having too many tools to call upon can easily become a liability.

I did my best and became very strong in Nia as a lifestyle practice. And when my body continued to send me these mixed energetic messages, I ignored them. That is, until I ended up in the emergency room.

Suddenly, I was forced to listen to the emptiness of my well. It echoed with hunger. And so, I must fill it once more. Hence, my choice to reintroducing the potency and richness of Qigong back into my life. And as if by divine intervention, I have been simultaneously paired with a partner who is wealthy in the ways of abundant waters.

One of the things that I have learned from observing Daniel (I say observing as his way of teaching is in his way of being and is much less overt than my own) is his ability to take a vast amount knowledge and distill it down to the wisdom at its very core. I realize after taking class with him today that this comes from his years of experience with the eastern arts... this is at the heart of these traditions that go back before modern man measured time and compared truths.

As an example: Today during class, I asked a simple question regarding hand placement in a movement that we were doing as a group. I said something to the effect of, "should my palm always be up when doing such and such?"

"Never always," he said. (His response, in two words, said more than I often say in a three-minute monologue.) From there, he came over... redirected my movement... and no more was needed.

Never Always.

Today I was reminded how the purest truths come in small packages.
In the same way Qigong reminds me that powerful changes come in subtle shifts. If you have ever practiced, held a seemingly simple posture, and noticed the heat generated in the body, you know exactly what I mean.

It is my dream to one day develop a practice that brings together my love of dance/movement as metaphor, subtle truths, and energy alchemy together as one. That is the intention of SHiNE BODY. May this blog help to reveal more of how that shall come to be. In the meantime, may we all find ways to fill ourselves so that the waters in our wells flow abundant and free.

Tags: qigong, never always, life coaching

I am reading a remarkable book, by Daniel Gilbert, entitled: Stumbling On Happiness. It speaks to the Researcher archetype in me... the one who was enthralled as a psychology major with explanations of the curiosities of human behavior. Psychology is, at best, the synergy of a multitude of minor illuminations that have been woven together to reveal the universal pathologies of the human mind. I love the beauty of this paradoxical science - the attempts to measure the subjective experience that is beyond objective measurement - due to the fact that the absolute truth can never be known as long as human's are the one doing the measuring. It is a fascinating predicament, that I love getting tangled in from time to time.


The book is a masterful work of a Harvard psychology professor who has weaved together research on the inherent pitfalls of imagination, foresight, and expectations as they relate to happiness. I find pleasure in any work that challenges the most basic tools that I use in my personal and professional practice (namely: imagination and sensation)... asking me to question, refine, and evolve my perspectives, making them more sound and viable. I highly recommend it!

From the website:

Most of us spend our lives steering ourselves toward the best of all possible futures, only to find that tomorrow rarely turns out as we had presumed. Why? As Harvard psychologist Daniel Gilbert explains, when people try to imagine what the future will hold, they make some basic and consistent mistakes. Just as memory plays tricks on us when we try to look backward in time, so does imagination play tricks when we try to look forward.

Using cutting-edge research, much of it original, Gilbert shakes, cajoles, persuades, tricks, and jokes us into accepting the fact that happiness is not really what or where we thought it was.

Smart, witty, accessible, and laugh-out-loud funny, Stumbling on Happiness brilliantly describes all that science has to tell us about the uniquely human endeavor to envision the future, and how likely we are to enjoy it when we get there.

BTW, you may even enjoy this one even if you are one who is typically overwhelmed by fact and figures. Gilbert's writing style is funny, satirical, and sometimes even has me laughing out loud. Enjoy!

Tags: daniel gilbert, stumbling on happiness, life coaching

I am on a flight from Atlanta to Denver... on the first leg of a journey back from a family visit. My presence was requested for my gorgeous niece, and her 3rd birthday party - I did a hoop performance and playshop. It was so wonderful, as always, to be with her and my nephew. (I promised myself that I would make every effort to ensure that they would know their aunt, even though I live so far away).

It's a 3 hour flight, and I just woke from a nap. To tell you the truth, I am little spun. Only three times in my life have a had a dream state like this one (and never on a plane!). It is a quality of sleep where I am teetering cautiously at the brink of conscious and subconscious, surfing the waves of thoughts and images in search of which is what.

The Dream:
I am on this very plane, in this very seat, in these very clothes.. on my way to where I go now. I am watching the direct tv screen. A news segment. The story is on making desires a reality (dreams coming true). I am fascinated as the anchorwoman holds up letters from viewers to demonstrate to her audience just how desperate they are for what she is about to offer them... the secret to living the life of their dreams. I quickly become disinterested in the story, as it is a sensationalized take-off of The Secret... but I am awed by the inclusion of a friend's letter among the many to the station... so, I DECIDE to wake up in order to send her an email, to tell her she is on the in-flight news show. So there I am... completely aware that I am dreaming with eyes open. Suddenly, I am in my body again... sleeping. I tell my body it is time to wake-up. Everything cooperates... only I cannot open my eyes. They are unmoving to the point of painful... stuck closed. It aches to try and open them, but I do. They will not budge. Anxiety surges through me, but I coax my emotions back to a center point in order to meet my aim more calmly. Slowly and suddenly, my eyes open. Ah, what relief!

But wait... I look around... I AM in the plane... in this seat, yet I suddenly realize that I am still not yet awake. Again, dreaming with eyes open tells me that I am still sleeping with eyes shut. Replay... I try to open them... again, they will not budge. Finally, they open at the urgency of my will. Again, I look around... and I am STILL asleep... and the cycle repeats for a third time!!

On this third attempt... I finally awaken for real.

When I finally woke, that depth... that prison of eyes wide shut beckoned me to challenge it with sleep again. There was no way that I would re-enter that unrelenting dream state. As l looked around at my environment, I struggled to tell myself that I was indeed awake... I was hesitant to be caught in the illusion again. Only a trip to the bathroom and a bite of food succeeded in convincing me. And now I sit perched on the bridge between this dream and that.

I had a dream almost identical to this months ago, where I woke... and woke... and woke. Finally to awaken to find that I understood what maya is... and the teaching that we are living in a dream in each and every moment. Although in my last dream, one very particular detail was different. Rather than my EYES that would not open... it was my JAW that was locked shut. My voice was that which would free me from the dream state. And today, it was my sight.

What I wake up wondering today is...
When will I really wake up? And what resistance will I face in order to push past that edge?

It is as though my eyes have been closed all along, and I have been waking up over and over ... and over again... to find that I have been dreaming with my eyes open for my entire life. Each new fabrication of reality is a dream... until I wake up to create a new one. Perhaps each time I wake up, the Observer that I am (my spirit) is activated to see more clearly. I have long felt that I am but a witness in the dream that is this world. Certainly, I have gotten tangled in many a drama in my past experience... however, the more that I wake up the more that I see that none of it permeated to the depths of who I really am.

I am the same Observer/Witness/Eyes that I was when I lost my yellow umbrella at kindergarten... when I was spinning around a May Pole in the 4th grade... and when I lost my virginity in high school. I am those age-less eyes that watched all the drama unfold in my heart and mind. And over the course of the years, I have become more and more aware of how many layers there are to this dream of existence. I aim to live from the eyes of this Higher Self, so that retrospect need not always be that which unplugs me from the storyline. And so I know that as I type these words, I am not awake. I know that the dream still has me in it. And I look forward to waking up again and again throughout the course of my life.

Perhaps one day... I will experience the awakening that only a few ever speak of. The enlightenment of seeing through all the veils at once. Death is the awakening that slices through them simultaneously... yet, I am willing to belief that The Purest Knowing is available right here on earth. May I awaken to find it one day soon.

Blessings to you in this Great Dream that is life....

Candice

Tags: dream, Awakening

May 2007

Welcome to the new and improved layout of theMessenger. It is my hope that this monthly newsletter will offer you regular inspiration to live your brilliance.

After some soul searching, I have recently shifted the focus of my work to more directly reflect my passions in life. I realize that in order to do the work that I am here to do - helping others to connect to the limitless potential within - I must have the courage to walk the talk. For a very long time, I have been afraid to step into the dreams that beckon to me. I am an energy guide, a motivator, and a channel for living a life that brings fulfillment on the highest level and the deepest depths, far beyond the constant tides of desire.

It is a mature spiritual seeker that addresses the deep and subtle yearnings that supercede the unrelenting desires of the physical. Your outer world demonstrates in your daily life as a metaphor for the loud whispers and wisdoms of your heart and soul. It is my passion to bring about a world where we are interested in these subtle messages, deciphering them with wisdom, and basking in the brilliant clarity that they reveal to us. When we learn to respond to the brilliance within us, we evolve in our practice of living as our life creates us!

A brilliant existence is not only a possibility, it's a responsibility. Imagine that you have been delivered a unique medicine that simply must act through you in order to work. THIS is your SHiNE. The "i" in shine is lowercase for a reason. It is to remind you that your potential comes from something larger that exists all around you. You only need surrender your egoic dance, get out of the way, and rest in the center to find it.

theMessenger is all about delivering SHiNE directly to your inbox... now featuring inspired writings - visit my BLOG online - as well as links to various individuals who have brilliance to share with you.

Thank you, as always, for exploring theMessenger. May you discover your SHiNE through the many resources offered here, or wherever it might choose to happen upon you.

Have a BRiLLiANT day!
Candice

Tags: shine coaching, life coaching

Have you ever played the game where you sit in a circle and pass a secret around? One person starts... and whispers a phrase into the ear of the person next to them. The secret then travels from one ear to the next... around the circle back to where it started. The game typically ends with fits of giggles, as the original source of the statement proclaims the original statement. Often, the messages transforms as it moves around the circle... ending up to sound very little like the initial transmission.

Perhaps we might consider this as we practice The Secret. The transmission in its fullness brings us much to practice and integrate into our lives. Yet, when we seek to simplify, formulate, and/or become absolute in the application of such a powerful spiritual transmission... we are bound to be left in the dark at the end of the day. Let us treat this modern day miracle as a reminder that there is still so much possibility and that which is potently unknown to discover in the spirit realm. The Mystery is inviting us to begin to explore a new relationship with It. As with all relationships, we will be asked to evolve and refine our point of view in response to our own unique experiences.

I, for one, love that aspect of relationship. Transformation. Rediscovery. And the countless Deaths of Self that occur as I get closer to the Truth.

Tags: law of attraction, the secret, shine coaching, life coaching

Redefining Abundance

spiritual maturity = the evolution from egocentrism to interdependence

There has been a tremendous amount of buzz around the recent film - and subsequent book - The Secret. Upon the initial launch of the law of attraction into the mainstream, I was overjoyed. As a coach, I quite often witness people caught in limited ways of thinking (myself included... ah yes, we teach what we need to learn!) and I was inspired by the thought that the law of attraction invites us all to focus on choosing thoughts/experiences that feel good. I know that the ability to witness and own our beliefs and attitudes is the first step to living more consciously. Surrendering the Victim is essential for the Witness to step into place.

The Secret teaches us that...
Feeling good is a natural outpicturing of conscious choices.
In short, witness to know how you are vibrating... then choose to feel good.
That I resonate with.

However, recently, I have begun to ponder terminology that is thrown about liberally in metaphysical circles. Namely, the idea of abundance. Many teachers report that quantum physics tells us that there is a limitless supply of resources available to us. The only limitation that exists is our thoughts to the contrary. Our experience of limitation in life is a function of our vibrations (thoughts/beliefs/feelings). Lack attracts lack. Abundance attracts abundance. Okay. That sounds pretty straightforward, yes?

Yet, I am beginning to wonder. Are we not in the egocentrism of our development as a spiritual culture?
In early child development, around 3 years old, a child has a developed a sense of self. A sense that he or she exists as a personality apart from the outside world. They enter a stage marked by egocentrism - all that exists in that which I see in front of me. The "I" becomes the reference point for the world at large. If I can see it, it is there. If not, then it must not be there. Or, even if it is... who cares.

I am blessed with a wonderful man in my life, whose family so generously invites us to enjoy their beautiful home overlooking the Oregon Coast. Over Mother's Day weekend, we spent some time there. As always, my body and mind became spacious and calm in the presence of the ocean's sounds. Perfectly content, I spent some time journaling and flipping through books and magazines of interest. I stumbled across an issue of Vanity Fair... "The Green Issue"... that focused on further educating the public about the environmental issues. As I read about a culture in the Amazon, facing extinction due to their shrinking landscapes and drastic climate shifts, I realized (real eyes'd) that if I focus on abundance as it is currently defined in our culture, I may be doing a diservice to myself, my clients, and my culture.

I am not one to watch the evening news and stew in the negativity that I see onscreen. Nor would I suggest it. However, maturing in our spiritual awareness asks that we see the world at large - we can apply filters in order to receive as much information as possible - so that our personal choices in life are conscious and contextual. It is an egocentric society that ignores the world at large. I very much do agree that I must find peace within before I can have a peaceful impact on the whole. Absolutely. However, I am not an island of energy. I am an integral piece that impacts the collective on a scope we are only now beginning to understand. The Green Movement is a brilliant example of illumination. We now have a measurable experience of interdependence. The butterfly wings of one person's choices, being felt in a small Amazonian village in South American. Ah ha! The concept of "we are one" is no longer simply a metaphysical musing... it is a reality!

I am beginning to see that to misrepresent a concept such as abundance - framing it as a selfish freedom without limits or implication in such a consumption-driven society is ironic, naive, and spiritually immature.

The issue: In our modern world, consumption is too often confused with abundance. And abundance is confused with wealth. Let us seek to redefine these concepts which are, in their purity, holy and sacred responsibilities.

Do I want more money?... of course! How about more vacations?... and a best seller?... or two?... Okay. Sign me up!!

Yet it is not the money, or the vacation, or the book deals that will lead me to the wealth that I seek. At best, these will all serve as distractions UNLESS I am spiritually mature enough to handle the responsibility that such luxuries afford me. If I consider myself an island of energy that is... 1) uneffected by the choices and consciousness of those around me, and 2) who can will anything into being without consideration for the whole... I may achieve a rich and abundant lifestyle as it is promised. One that feeds my body with pleasure, and my emotions with a sense of satisfaction.

However, each passing day teaches me that the abundance that I want more than anything else is a sense of spiritual satisfaction. A deep and pure experience of Love. Fulfillment. Purpose. And, in essence, Heaven on Earth.

We do not have to surrender one for the other. We can have the joys of the physical world as well as the bliss of that which connects us to something larger than ourselves. Paradoxically, I believe that it is the investment in spiritual assets that brings us a wealth that nurtures us for a lifetime.

Since I have begun to challenge the narcissism of The Secret - and what has become near-mainstream acceptance of the Law of Attraction - I have been asked the question:

"Candice, are you saying that you no longer believe in The Secret?!"

Yes, I believe in The Secret. I believe that the Law of Attraction does indeed exist.

But I believe in The Force behind it more. And that my highest good is in the hands of an intelligence that far exceeds anything that my hands, my head, or my heart can hold.

And it feels good. Really, really good.

Tags: life coaching, shine coaching, law of attraction, the secret, Abundance

The Law of Attraction = Ask and It Is Given

The Law of Attracting Fulfillment = Trust and Receive Your Greatest Good

In my experience I have known that the secret of joyful living, fulfillment, and a wealthy existence is something that I can call forth. I have practiced the Law of Attraction. I have desired a great many things, relationships, and experiences... and have come to experience most everything that I have called into being. So much of that which I wanted to become I have become (teacher, black belt, performer)... so much that I wanted to experience I am experiencing (creativity, travel, loving relationship)... and so much of that which I wanted to have I am having more of (more money, a beautiful home, freedom to choose what to do with my time). And so I know that within me lies the power to make things happen. For this, I am grateful.

Nevertheless, none of these outpicturings have brought me the peace, joy, or fulfillment that I have been seeking all along. My process of creation has brought me many things... most importantly, the realization that none of these desires self-serving will ever bring me the fulfillment that my soul yearns for.

I don't mean to sound cynical. It's actually one of the most liberating realizations that I have ever had. I think back on the great moments when I have known true fulfillment. Right now, writing my truth to you. Lying in the arms of my lover in that space between this world and the dream state. Laughing joyously with friends. Holding my niece in my arms for the first time... or seeing her sweet face in an e-card from my sister. Watching my nephew come into the world. Witnessing as someone shares a dream with me, and holding space for the sacred power of a spirit unleashed. Feeling the boundless joy while watching students in blissful abandon through dance... or in presenting their uniqueness in union with another through a performance jam.

It is THIS that I wish to attract more of into my life. Fulfillment that comes from the everyday magic of relationships, co-creation, and meaningful interactions. I want to develop mastery in - not my ability to bring the material into the material world (I have sensed the transient satisfaction of this)- but my ability to take notice, appreciate, and rest into the ways in which spirit is present in the flesh of those around me. To attract more of the juicy richness of life. While I receive satisfaction and comfort from the many images that come to life through me... it is the unexpected and brilliant miracles of all that lies beneath the surface that bring me true fulfillment.

Therefore, I offer a shift in semantics for my practice...
from The Law of Attraction, to the Law of Attracting Fulfillment.

And I am committed to building a business where others are aspiring (and inspiring!) to do the same. Moments of brilliance acting as signposts that light the way. SHiNE ON!

Tags: law of attraction, the secret, shine coaching, life coaching

I spent over two decades - and a wealth of energy - wading helplessly in my heart's cries to reign over my life. I was continually seeking approval from others and casting myself as a victim in countless dramas of misconception. And then I discovered within me the potential to choose. I discovered that life gifts to me in relationship to what I gift to it. I discovered that darkness begets darkness, and that brilliance begets a life where feeling good is the only option.

I did everything in my power to think myself into feeling good. I embraced metaphysics, and actively made my life happen in accordance with my desires. However, I quite often became exhausted having faith only in myself - and the idea that I was the creator of my reality. How could I be sure what was best for me when there were limitless options available to me. I had everything that I thought I wanted... and somehow had let myself down. Where was the core fulfillment in it all? And how could I explain the emergence of so many miracles in my life, all those things that I didn't even know I needed? Who created those? Who is busy creating the miracles that fill my life with richness, while I am busy pulsing and toiling over the mundane?

It was then that I chose to sever my vows as a spiritual orphan. I may not belong to a particular religious tradition, but I do belong to more than myself. I am a sliver of light in the high beam of existence. True, I attract in accordance with my desires; yet only that which is best for the illumination of Who I Truly Am.. in service of the highest purpose (of which I am a willing, essential, and wonderous participant). And, while my willingness is required, I am not the one who makes the light possible.

I now realize (real-eyes) that the greatest power that I have access to is the power to be the person that I am. It is up to me to define the sensations that I want more of in my life, and to make choices that resonate accordingly. It is up to me, to deny or to embrace my brilliance. Over time, I have made the choice to embrace my gifts. Abandoning the arrogance of self-doubt... and embracing the humility of moving as if my life matters. And since then, the most meaningful miracles have emerged in my life.

Suddenly, my full-time job is feeling good. Getting out of the way. Allowing my SHiNE to operate in my life, and most importantly, in the lives of others. I call my brilliance by name... and that name is not mine. It is a sensation of grace and inspiration that calls back to me:

"SHiNE so that others might do the same. Collectively re-ignite a world where love is a light that burns from within each person. Illuminate a global reality where individual brilliance is the understood beacon to connect to the Source of All Light."

- Candice Schutter, Shine Founder

Tags: shine coaching

April 2007


For years, copying other people, I tried to know myself.
From within, I couldn’t decide what to do.
Unable to see, I heard my name being called.
Then I walked outside.
- Rumi

I am always amazed at how the longer days of Spring immediately shed new light upon all aspects of my life. It's as though the secrets that the winter spent unearthing have suddenly sprung to the surface...and I am left in wonder of the next inevitable rebirth in my personal and professional life.

For a very long time, I have invested my talents in mediums created by others. These disciplines, and their respective mentors, have taught me countless lessons for which I am endlessly grateful. And now comes the time for me to create a vehicle of my own. I have been a fitness teacher, a wellness educator, and a performer. Yet in my heart of hearts, I am a spiritual guide.

I have long dreamed of writing and leading seminars worldwide, guiding people into closer relationship with themselves and their inner calling. As The Secret has recently revealed, we all want to feel good and manifest our desires, yes. However, the essential piece that gives it all meaning is our relationship to a divine source. I want to help cultivate that...in me and in you.

So often I invite you all to SHiNE...and to live your life in fearless surrender to that which moves you. And it is time that I walk my talk with greater fervor. I am realizing that fear is no excuse for inertia. Movement must happen.

Stay tuned in the coming months as I move towards my calling...and walk alongside me. Together we can know what it is to live an inspired life...on an inspired planet. This I know for sure.

Walking Outside, Candice

Tags: rumi, life coaching

theMessenger April 2007 - Book of The Month
Dare To Be Yourself, by Alan Cohen

A fabulous and inspirational read, this book is a must have on your bedside table. A three-page journey will take you further than you might imagine, as Cohen offers you anecdotes from all walks of life to help bring out the SHiNE in you. I especially love the fusion of spiritual traditions that he offers.

From the back cover:
In this powerful map to self-discovery, Alan Cohen draws on sources from Buddhism to the Bible, from Gandhi and Einstein to A Course in Miracles, sharing many of his own radiant moments of revelation on the spiritual path. He shows how we can let go of the past, overcome fear, and discover the power of love in our lives... Dare to Be Yourself will dramatically enlighten, empower, and enliven you as you awaken to life and love and the unique gifts that are yours to give the world.

More info

Tags: Alan Cohen, dare to be yourself, life coaching

The Secret
Is Oprah a metaphysician? Are YOU?

The Secret...What is all the BUZZ about?!?! In February, Oprah Winfrey introduced millions of viewers to The Secret - a DVD that reveals the Law of Attraction and describes how it can be used as a tool to bring about fulfillment and a life beyond our wildest dreams! She shared her genuine enthusiasm regarding the material, and her belief that The Law of Attraction is what has enabled her so many successes in her life!! For some of us, the ideas contained within the The Secret are not new. In short, feel good vibrations create feel good outcomes. Nevertheless, no matter how hard we try to feel good, we are continuously drawing unfavorable outcomes into our life. Why is that? How can we apply the Law of Attraction to bring about positive changes? What can we do to shift our awareness away from what we perceive in our life as limitation...shifting it instead towards the frequency of a desired outcome?
Although The Secret has taken time to embody as a practice, it is certainly not new to me. Since 2002, I have been creating a body of work that makes the Law of Attraction both understandable and accessible. I call it, Sensation Matters. I offer individual sessions as well as small group engagements (it's fun to feel good with friends!) focusing on applying these practices in meaningful ways. Contact me to learn more about how The Secret can work in your life. Yes! You do have a right to the life you've always wanted!

The Secret - Consultations: Small Group or Private Sessions @ thePortal Home Studio

Tags: life coaching, law of attraction, the secret

February 2007


Signs of Love

I've just returned from San Francisco where I co-facilitated the HoopGirl Teacher Training with HoopGirl's Christabel Zamor. Ten inspiring hoopers from all walks of life, came together for three days of intensive training in the HoopGirl Workout teaching format.

Some of the most profound insights were offered by a special guest trainee with a unique gift. Meryl, a passionate young teacher who happens to be hearing impaired, reminded us all that sharing the love of flow is an expression beyond words. In fact, each hooper offered a perfect uniqueness to the program, making it apparent that the ultimate destination in learning isn't about all-the-right moves, class formats, or even technique. The one aim we all share is a heartfelt desire to shine our light freely, igniting love in those around us.

Valentine's Day is my favorite holiday. To me it is an annual reminder to reconnect the heart to what feels good. As the holiday approaches, may I remind you that love shined inward spills out boundlessly to those around you.

Treat yourself to self-seduction this Valentine's Day! Get to know passionate communion, intoxicating smiles, and sighs of surrender by falling in love with feeling good. Shower your body with valentine blisses and commit to a deeper relationship with your community by signing up for an upcoming class or special event. There are abundant opportunities to make love a priority this month.

Begin in this moment with a deep breath to simply seed the intention for self-love this month. Shift your heart to high beam, shine your light, and you are sure to see bold and brilliant signs of love everywhere you go. May your footprints act as inspirational signposts along our journey...as you leave traces of love behind you wherever you go.

Seeing Signs Everywhere, Candice

Tags: life coaching, valentines day, self love, shine coaching

theMessenger February 2007 - Book of The Month
Intimate Communion, by David Deida

Intimate Communion is on my list as one of the top ten most influential books in my life! If you would like to learn more about masculine and feminine essence, and how sexual polarity influences our most intimate relationships, this is a must read. Both informative and poetic, this is the perfect book for Valentine's Day!

Excerpt: As a woman you have become the all of his desire. As a man, you have become the spine of her surrender. Grateful for your demise in life, the Divine is alive in every lover's smile. This book is for men and women who are turned on by sex, love and true spiritual ecstacy. It is for people who enjoy tangled bodies, open hearts and enlightened minds. If you are not delighted by a style of intimacy involving deep passion, deep devotion and deep understanding - all three - then this book is not for you.

More Info

Tags: david deida, intimate communion review, sacred love

January 2007


Only as high as I reach can I grow,
only as far as I seek can I go,
only as deep as I look can I see,
only as much as I dream can I be.
- Karen Ravn

I always look forward to a new year. As yet another cycle spirals me onward and upward, I can sense that am on the brink of a new life. Within is a creative force that stirs me to become more with each passing moment. But how do I transmute the fear of change? I ask my breath to show me the way...an energy lubricant that relies on perfect harmony in order to thrive. In...out. Expand...contract. Act...release. Each breath teaches me how to let go. Fear becomes courage...courage becomes the power to act...and the power to act creates me anew.

The simple, yet profound, wisdom that can be found in the body both intrigues me and fills me with promise. Sensation does matter. I know this to be evident in my life, and it is the current foundation of my life's work. And thus, in 2007, I will reach higher, seek further, and look deeper. My vision relies on willing participants. Co-conspirators in passionate living and innocence reborn. Like-hearted spirits who are interested in tasting more of life's flavors, being touched from within, and becoming prolific in intertwined languages of body, mind, emotions, and spirit.

Reaching Higher,
Candice

Tags: life coaching, fear of change, shine coaching

theMessenger January 2007 - Book of The Month
Excuse Me, Your Life Is Waiting, by Lynn Grabhorn

Are you familiar with recent publications by Esther & Jerry Hicks? Were you inspired by The Secret? Are you curious about how to take metaphysical principles and bring them to life in your everyday? The book is a playful, easy- reading guide to just that. And true to its purpose - inspiring you to feel good - it will even leave you laughing out loud at times. Check it out!

Excerpt: We cannot hold ourselves above responsibility for what is happening around the world today, for the planet mirrors the predominant vibration in which it is emcompassed. We cannot say the awfulness is simply the result of others' evil, or wrong-doing, or even ignorance... So rather than the "ain't it awful's," when we finally starting saying to ourselves, "Nothing is more important than my feeling good," we can begin to break those destructive negative talk patterns. Then, by God, we truly start to make a difference with what is happening around the world.

More info

Tags: book review lynn grabhorn, law of attraction